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Ageless Love
I was a 25-year-old looking for a new apartment on my meager salary range and a second floor apartment was available.
When I first saw the place, I thought it was great. But the longer I looked at the felt fleur-de-lis dining room wallpaper, the more nauseous I got. My potential landlords, Cliff and Betty were so kind. They offered to tear down this eyesore, just because I hated it. This couple, parents of four kids about my age, seemed pleased to learn that I worked for a church as a Christian Educator Director. We were satisfied with what we had to offer each other, so I moved into Cliff and Betty's apartment.
The only downside seemed to be that the first few months I was there, the neighbors weren't friendly at all. I often entertained people from the church, including my youth groups en masse. In retrospect, I see how the whole situation could have looked fishy, and apparently, it did. One day, I visited the guy next door while he was scraping paint. We got to conversing and he whispered that he, and the rest of the neighbors, believed I was running a brothel! You can imagine his surprise and embarrassment when I told him what I did and who the visitors were. The truth spread like fire, and guess what -- my neighbors got a whole lot friendlier!
Tragically, Betty, at age 51 was re-diagnosed with cancer within
months of my arrival. Because I only lived a flight of stairs away, it was easier for me than their grown children to help with meals, laundry, etc. Her children and husband provided care for Betty, while I sometimes took care of the little things. Cliff and I were always talking, and consequently became good friends. We discovered a mutual deep love for music and the Lord.
Betty passed away just shy of her birthday that year. I was amazed when Cliff started getting phone calls from other women less than a week after Betty's funeral , offering him "consolation."
Three weeks later, just after Cliff's 54th birthday, I was downstairs doing his laundry, dressed in a Camp T-Frank Soles t-shirt and overalls. He was wearing a worn flannel shirt and rumpled jeans, with his usual white socks and dark shoes. He had fallen asleep on the easy chair, and just awoke. He looked at me, and said, "Ka-thay,... Ya' make my heart go beat, beat and I want to marry ya'." I stammered, never expecting this, and told him that he was confused and simply grateful for my companionship and help.
I made a quick exit and fled back to my apartment.
At 5:00am the next morning, he knocked on my door and said, "I've been up all night making plans for us." (He never plans anything.) Not knowing how to respond, I told him to go lay down on the couch and continue making plans: I was going back to sleep because I had to work that day. He later told me it was the combination of my singing and cooking that got him. That, and the fact that he was sure that he would probably "go" before I did, so he wouldn't likely have to suffer a loss like the one from which he was recovering.
During my devotions and prayer time the following week, I felt God was clearly communicating to me that I shouldn't be close-minded to this possibility; was I so sure this wasn't what God wanted for me? So, I began to open my mind to what might happen. And wouldn't you know it... I fell in love with the little Dutchman. I always thought I'd marry a big brawly football player (since I'm a generously sized woman with a heart to match); I got one (except his football nickname was "Shrimp," which should give you an indication of his stature!)
We were engaged a month and a half later after he talked it over with his kids. Even though I wanted to wait a bit longer before taking the plunge, Cliff didn't. We got married the following July 9th.
I am now 43 and Cliff is 71, but somehow, even with close to thirty years difference between us, I don't think about our ages until I talk about the kids and our grandchildren and great grandchildren with someone who doesn't know me. Then someone usually sputters, "You're a great-grandmother?" When people ask me, "Why don't you have your own children?" I usually answer, "I'm perfectly happy with the ones I've got." I wanted kids to adore and I got 'em. I wanted a husband to adore, and I got him too.
The biggest downside to our relationship is that he'll probably leave the earth before I do, simply because he's older. But I knew that up front. Cliff was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer. While we are hopeful that he will be among the majority of men who conquer this disease, we've always tried to live each day in love and appreciation of one another.
None of us truly knows when the last time we say, "I love you" will be. This time here is short, compared to eternity - and I know I'll be with him there.
-- Kathy Snavely, Pennsylvania
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