"What Is A Real Friend?"
A real friend doesn't have to.
2. A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his/her life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"
3. A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."
4. A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
5. A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his/her address book.
6. A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
7. A simple friend hates it when you call after s/he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
8. A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
9. A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
10. A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps him/herself.
11. A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
12. A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
13. A simple friend has your phone and/or e-mail address in his address book.
A real friend doesn't need to look it up.