May/June Journal

June 29, 1998--230 lbs
Well, I feel better about things now. I've started to move the right direction. It is so hard for me not to eat when I am stressed out. Over the weekend, each time I argued with my son (which, since he is 14 is pretty continuous), I found myself looking in the refrigerator or the cabinets for something to snack on. Fortunately, there was nothing at all to eat on Saturday because it had been a week since my shopping, and on Sunday the pantry was full of healthy snacks. Zack fussed at me last night though because I hadn't bought any ice cream. He says just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean he has to starve! (Not that he's in any danger at all of starving.)

I'm afraid I haven't been a very good example about how it's great to eat healthy. But here is an idea for a low-fat snack that he and I both enjoy. As my fruit starts to get too ripe to eat, I chop it up and put it in 1 cup sized portions in the freezer. Then I make shakes by combining 1/2 cup of milk with one package of fruit in the blender. I leave it on puree for a minute or two until it is frothy, then put the whole container in the freezer again for 30 minutes to an hour (depends on how anxious I am for the treat). Puree again, freeze again, puree again, and by this time there's no chance I can stand to wait any longer. I sweeten with a package of Sweet 'n Low, but my son prefers to use a few tablespoons of Cool Whip lite, which adds a few calories but helps the texture. Happy snacking!

June 25, 1998--233 lbs
It has been exactly a year since I started this new healthy eating plan. The good news is, I weigh less than I did at this time last year. (And I should be pretty happy about that -- over the last decade I've averaged a 5 lb gain a year.) However, the bad news is that it isn't much less: Only about 5 lbs. That's not much for the amount of effort -- and money -- I've put into this.

So I've spent some time tonight reflecting on the things that went well for me this year and the things that went not-so-well, and I'm kicking off the new year on the right foot. I've downloaded DietWatch, which I used for a while early this year until I got too busy. I'm going to try this for the next five weeks. That will get me through the 4th of July holiday, my niece's christening and an accompanying family gathering, and a crazy, week-long conference I help manage. I would like to average 2 lbs a week during this time, which will get me to 223.

I am not going to start off by making a bunch of resolutions that history shows I won't keep. My goals are pretty simple right now: eat about 1,500 well-balanced calories a day, drink at least 64 oz of water, exercise at least three times a week, get at least 7 hours of sleep a night, and write in my journal at least twice a week. Here I go...

June 10, 1998
I have been bouncing all over creation for the past month. I do great one day, terrible the next. I eat healthy all day and follow it with ice cream. I am very frustrated, and I know it is because I am having so much trouble sticking with this. Apparently an informal plan is not my style.

In two weeks it will have been a year since I started this weight loss effort. The best thing I can say is I weigh less -- barely -- than I did last year. If I don't show a substantial improvement between now and then, I'm going to rejoin Weight Watchers or some other program. I need help!

June 1, 1998
A new month. It seems like everyone on the diet list is charged up and enthusiastic today. I forgot to weigh myself this morning, but I think I'm still right around 230. I'm going to set some goals for this month:

Drink 64 oz of water daily.
Walk at least three times a week.
Eat rationally and reasonably. I'm going to try not counting calories but just watching what I eat, trying for low-far and small portions and to cut way down on the sweets and bread.
Write in my journal at least twice weekly.
Get at least seven hours of sleep a night, more if possible.

These don't seem like very ambitious goals, but if I can meet them I'll be doing phenomenally better than I have the last few months. I'm off to a fairly decent start today.

May 15, 1998
I'm starting over. Overall, I believe I'm in better shape than I was a year ago when I started this process, but weightwise I'm about back to where I started. According to my scales I weigh 230, very discouraging after working hard and getting down nearly 25 lbs.

On a more positive note, my son asked me this week if we could go on a diet. (He is about 5'10" and weighs about 210, so he could stand to lose some. He's lost about 20 lbs and grown 8" this year, so at least he's moving in the right direction.) We decided that we would try to drink 8 glasses of water a day, eat 5 servings of fruit and vegetables, limit sweets, and limit dining out (one of our biggest problems). We'll see how it goes.

Now I hope I can get back to writing regularly in my journal. I've been less than faithful lately.

Email: rwelfare@mindspring.com

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