October 1999

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since October 1, 1999.

All-time high weight: 256.4 lb Current weight: 239.4 lb Goal weight: 119 lb

October 31, 1999

I am really pleased with how things went during October. I stuck to my program pretty well, drank my water, and exercised consistently. The results showed on the scale, too -- I lost 17 lbs.

I am especially pleased considering the fact that things are so messed up personally. I am focusing on sticking with the program in spite of my personal problems. My fingernails are bitten down to nubs, though.

Things are continuing to go extremely well with my program. I am down 15.6 lbs now, in only three weeks. Someone at work asked me if the Weight Watchers people had suggested I was losing too quickly, but no one has said anything. I am definitely eating all my points. I guess I have so much to lose right now that it is coming easily. I'm doing great with my exercise and water, which I suppose is helping, too. I'm sure things will slow down eventually, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can.

On the home front, things seem a tad better. We are going through some extensive counseling with our son. He is really angry at his dad, but it doesn't seem to have worn off on me. Actually, he's being much more receptive than I had hoped. He can't be happy with his life the way it is now -- failing five classes, no plans for the future, even giving up his band. He's a smart, creative kid. I just wish I didn't have to spend so much time worrying about him.

October 22, 1999

My weight loss slowed tremendously last week -- .8 for a total of 10. I'm happy with it since it balances out the huge loss the first week. I think I've done well this week, too. I managed a short weekend trip to the beach without blowing it completely. I'm anxious to go Weight Watchers tomorrow to get the official tally. I've gone to the Y pretty regularly and missed it when life interfered and kept me away.

Yesterday I even wore a skirt I hadn't been able to squeeze into previously, although it was a tad tight. My son told me last night I needed some new clothes because I had obviously lost several sizes already. I'm afraid he was kissing up.

On the personal front, things are the pits. I don't want to go into a lot of details here, but this has been one of the most stressful weeks of my life. I can't believe I haven't fallen off the deep end with my eating. I guess the saying applies: If you don't buy it you can't eat it. Please remember my son and his dad and me in your thoughts and prayers as we begin to work on some serious problems.

I had a great week last week. I lost 9.2 pounds! I don't think it was all real weight though. When I got up the morning I joined Weight Watchers, I weighed five pounds more than I did the day before. I guess I was bloated or something. So I figure I really lost only 4 pounds, which is reasonable for the start of a new program.

I've done pretty well this week. I ate out too much (or made wrong choices when I ate out) over the weekend, but since then I've been ok. I've also managed to get to Y on schedule. I'm planning to exercise at the Y on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday each week. I lost weight on that pattern last winter and I wasn't even dieting at all then!

Personally, I'm still stressed out. My son is a junior now, and last I heard he was failing all four of his academic classes. His dad and I have decided that we are going to have to let him suffer some consequences. Up to now we've "rescued" him by hiring tutors, etc., to make it possible for him to squeek through at the last minute. He's going to have to learn to do it on his own, but I imagine it's going to be really difficult to watch him without intervening. We'll see.

I've had a pretty good week so far dietwise. According to my scale I've lost about 5 pounds. I'm sure a lot of it is water, but I'll take it. My biggest success so far was at a carnival Sunday afternoon -- cotton candy, popcorn, hotdogs, homemade ice cream, other desserts... Very tempting, but I just had one hotdog with chili and a little popcorn. The ice cream was really calling my name, though. My biggest failure was my first night, when I went out to eat with a friend and had a 10 oz prime rib. I think that probably used all my points for the whole day!

I'm frustrated about exercising. It seems almost impossible to work exercise in. I leave home at 7:30 a.m. and don't get back until 6:30 p.m. My evenings seem to be full of taxiing my son around and attending other activities. I guess I could find time, but I haven't done a very good job of it yet. I'll keep trying.

The good news is I went to Weight Watchers on Saturday as promised. I've heard opinions both ways about this program that calculates points rather than making you count proteins, carbohydrates, etc. But it looks to me like it is doable. I just have to stay enthusiastic and motivated. Wish me luck!

The bad news is what I weighed -- more than 256, almost 8 lbs more than I did at the beginning of the year, and 20 lbs more than I did when I started this over two years. Today I had my blood pressure taken, and it was 146/102. That's higher than it was in January when I started taking medication. And I'm remembering the medicine pretty well, so the difference since April, when it was an amazing 120/80, has got to be exercise. During the spring I exercised regularly, but for the last few months I've exercised sporadically if at all.

I'm planning to rejoin Weight Watchers tomorrow, so I've been eating like a big pig today. I am frustrated with myself and my life and I want to do something about it. I can't do it alone. I've tried and failed again and again.

Email: rwelfare@mindspring.com

Copyright (c) 1999, Rhonda M. Welfare
Revised -- 10/31/99
URL: http://geocities.datacellar.net/HotSprings/Spa/2171