December 1999

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since December 3, 1999.

All-time high weight: 256.4 lb Current weight: 230.2 lb Goal weight: 119 lb

December 22, 1999

I was down 1.2 lbs last week, for a total loss of 26.2 since I started October 1. I am pleased with my progress although I would, of course, like to have lost 125 lbs so it could all be over. I am beginning to fit into some slightly smaller size clothes, so I can tell something has changed. I look exactly the same to myself, so I have to rely on clothes fitting and the story the scale tells.

I am a little apprehensive about the holidays. I don't want to feel too deprived, but there is a line there that it is easy to cross. I started a temporary setback at Thanksgiving and I would like to avoid that this time. I need to be sure there is plenty of easy-to-prepare healthy stuff around. I think I need a little bit of sweets, too. I'll have to work on low-calorie versions of some of my holiday favorites.

We are ending the year in a very frustrating place with my son. He has done very well in the program he's been attending, but he still has no motivation to do anything about school. I thought he might dropout and go to the Adult High School program at the local community college this spring, but it doesn't look like that is going to work out. We need to explore other alternatives.

Merry Christmas! Check out my online Christmas greetings.

Oops, I didn't mean to wait so long to write. Last Saturday I was down 2 lbs. We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Today is my anniversary, or perhaps unanniversary is the correct term. I've not been with my husband since 1991. That is such a long time for me still to be sad on this day. I have come upstairs hoping to stay away from the food. That is only a temporary way to feel better.

Good news! I lost 2.4 lbs last week, so I'm at -23 now. I'm pleased to be moving in the right direction again. Hopefully I'll be able to stick with it through the holiday season. My goal of losing 35 lbs by the end of the year is slipping out of reach. I'll have to lose 3 lbs a week, which is a lot even when it isn't the time of parties and Christmas goodies. It was attainable when I set it, but my slowdown in November really hurt.

I haven't mentioned what's going on with my son in a while. In general, things are greatly improved over the last six weeks. We are getting along much better. He is doing better about following my rules, too. The only thing that continues to be a terrible problem is school. He is probably going to fail five courses this fall (four academics and an art course). He has really given up on school. He continues to attend for purely social reasons. We area looking into alternatives, but I'm not really crazy about any of the options. His dad would like him to go to the adult high school at the local community college. My reluctance stems from the fact that the requirements for the adult high school are so minimal. I'm afraid he would be bored, which has been a lot of his problem already. I would prefer it if there were a way he could take regular community college courses. He could graduate from the adult high school in less than a year though, and then go on to the community college if he wanted. We'll see.

One reason I'm less worried about my son than I was earlier is that he's started reading. That is something that I've never understood. I love to read and so does his dad, but he has never enjoyed it. But all of a sudden he is reading for pleasure. And I mean reading some really heavy stuff -- a huge volume by Harvard sociologist Howard Zinn, fiction by Paul Bowles, commentary by Henry David Thoreau, even The Communist Manifesto. For Christmas he asked for a copy of The Pentagon Papers. I told him he's way more intellectual than I am.

Well, all in all I wasn't too pleased with my performance in November. I have been stuck at about 21 lbs since the middle of the month. I have had a lot of trouble sticking to my points, and I definitely haven't been drinking enough water. I've been back on track most of this week, though, so I hope that when I weigh tomorrow I'll be moving the right direction again.

Email: rwelfare@mindspring.com

Copyright (c) 1999, Rhonda M. Welfare
Revised -- 12/22/99
URL: http://geocities.datacellar.net/HotSprings/Spa/2171