M y three children left for the Huntington’s Camp for young people today and I started mine!! It’s always mixed feelings when I give them a hug and send them out through Gateway 4! I feel proud as I watch three beautiful, courageous children board that plane, and a bit melancholy when they all go away together. Most of all I feel relieved. Finally I have space. Beautiful, joyous s-p-a-c-e!! For five days while they are at camp, within that space I will give myself the gift of allowing the myriad of emotions that go with living with Huntington’s Disease to surface. I am a person that deals up-front with my feelings as much as I can, as they appear. But it never ceases to amaze me, when all the routine of family suddenly stops, how much more feelings are just there below the surface waiting to be let out.

Over a hot cup of coffee relishing my very quiet surroundings, I admire the fact that the house has been tidy now for five hours! Then as space allows, the tears come and I grieve - for my children and the burden they are carrying, for their father who is courageously living with the disease, and for me, who does the best I can to nurture our lives along admidst it all. When the tears are dried I feel a sense of relief at having let it all out, and tired, suddenly overwhelmingly tired. I sleep.