We got a diagnosis after my mom went to library and read every book
she could on health conditions that had my symptoms for months . She came
up with 2 illnesses that matched, FMS and CFIDS. Eventually we got
insurance and met my wonderful doctor, Lori Utech. She didn't think I was
crazy, and after many tests Dr. Utech agreed with my mom that I had FMS
and CFIDS. Then things got worse, I became homebound.

A virus left me to sick to go to school. I had a slight recovery and was
able to go back to school for 3 weeks and then went down again. We then
decided to find a way to keep me up with my school work. We were able
found a Homebound teaching program. I have a tutor who comes every week
brings my work and keeps me up to date. Not going to school made me more
depressed and I was then put on Prozac. After home schooling for the rest of
my 7th grade year I had a break through. During the summer I went to a
chiropractor who gave me Malic acid and magnesium pills, along with a fruit
and vegetable supplement. And I thought I was recovering. I was outside
playing basketball and running around, actually being a kid. I then began my
8th grade year actually in the school building and did well until the first
school virus came around and knocked me down.

Since then I have been homebound, and doing my best maintain some
what of a life. My tutor, Pam signed us up with The Dream Factory. An
organization who grant "wishes" to sick children. They arranged for me to get
a computer and all the software needed. I am very grateful to Pam and the
Dream Factory. I then got the internet. On there I met friends and other FMS,
CFIDS, and depression sufferers. In April I began my own support group on-
line. I met lots of people and learned so many things. Then I began my own
mailing list for FMS and CFS. I find lots of new information on coping
strategies, studies, and medicines. People need to know what FMS and CFS
is, even if they don't have it. My theory is if you touch enough peoples lives
you might learn something yourself and you might change someone's life.

A average week for me is working on-line on my web site and my
mailing list. I attend FMS and CFS support groups on-line everyday they are
provided. I have my tutor come every Monday, Wedsnday, and Friday. I
work on my school work and try to not push my limits. And thats the extent
of my week. I don't get to play outside or hang around with my friends. I don't
get to travel, I never have even been on a vacation. My life is on the computer
and sleeping. I don't have all the "listed" sypmtoms of FMS and CFS. I live
each day with extreme fatigue and pain. I am in the process of changing that
by trying new therapies.

Something I'm learning is you can't cope you and you can't live with
illness unless you try to learn and touch everything. If I would have never
pushed myself to make these mailing lists and join those support groups I
would probably be much sicker. You can never know too much, you can
never try too much, and you can never teach enough. I don't want people to
have to go through anything like I did, being told "its all in your mind."
Everything I do on-line effects my life and many others. It may be a small life,
but it means the world to me. Luckily my parents support me in my efforts to
help others. They always tell me its a good idea and they know how hard it is
to have FMS and CFIDS. It is very painful for my parents to see me like this
and they try to help me stay healthy. It doesn't really matter to me that I don't
have many friends with faces, but it does matter to me that I tried my best to
help them to live with FMS and CFIDS. In most peoples opinions I Don't
have a life, but in mine I have a pretty good one, and hopes of it getting
better.

The best advice I can give is, never stop trying, don't ever pass up a
learning opportunity, and always try to help. If you keep learning you give
yourself the chance to be healthy, and to have a life. The only way to cope is
to keep hope. You can't be a kid with FMS and CFIDS, so you have to take
other directions. You have to find ways for outlets, like writing, talking,
learning, dreaming, and music. These have helped me tremendously, if I didn't
have dreams or hopes I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. And it all starts
when you finally realize you can live with FMS and CFIDS, I'm Proof.

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