Why do I always screw up my own life? It amazes me that I do so nearly every day. I do it from morning through night, twenty four hours, seven days a week. If I could do myself as much good as harm, perhaps I would want to live, instead of embracing death. Always the "odd ball" never "normal'" wears me down like the breaking ocean against the rocks of the shoreline. I want to change, to evolve beyond but I never can seem to do that. I am my own worst enemy, my own killer and torturer. Why can't I be friends with me?
Sounds of white soaring gulls fill the ears of my memory, golden sand, hot to our feet, cast our steps, together. Deviled crab, barbecue, and iced tea caressed our tongues, as the night breeze blew across the bay, we made love in the sand, by the old boat house. A rainbow of bikinis fill my eyes full of tan flesh, I think of the parts of you that remain unstained. pure and hidden from the sun but not from me. As the night breeze blew across the bay, we walked hand in hand in love forever. Our stars are flying fish on the deep green sea, while melodies of crashing surf beat in time with our hearts. Love made us virgins anew, children at play once more. As the night breeze blew across the by, together we'd dream, and spend bubble gum money. Hours were spent in not too deep serious conversations, later our bodies and kisses filled our senses like stars, our best new friend, Mr. Moon was the only witness, as the night breeze blew across the bay, of our selfish, unleashed frenzied passions together. Your perfume was the smell of the tranquil ocean, and you made me believe I could change the man I am. Deep down inside, my cynical heart beat as fast as the night breeze that blew across the bay. Hope was high, together we sought our perfect world. Summers never last long enough in the north, days grow shorter as the night expand his darkness. Hot silver days turn deep gray, turbulent and windy, as the night breeze blew across the bay. We gathered our clothes to seek another shelter. Love, like the mighty tide ebbs and flows, we sometime find ourselves stranded like fish in a tidal pool. Our love became beached on a sandbar at low tide. As the night breeze blew across the bay, I look and wonder why, I was foolish enough to say goodbye! Winter leaves the beach as empty and barren as our lost love. Now you're married to someone else leaving me alone getting old, with only my memories of that bright special summer when as the night breeze blew across the bay, we made our promises never to part in a white boat. The sunshine of your happy smile has turned into a rainbow of an unfriendly empty frown special for me. All I am left with are eyes full of tears of days when the night breeze blew across the bay. I walk in the rain in the sand, my hand and heart are empty. Frozen winters never last forever, as nothing ever does. Gone now is the wondrous joy we shared when we were one, now our lost love is as empty as our foot prints in the sand. As the night breeze blows across the bay, I stare into the night and see the us of way back then. I'm still on the beach but you went inland.
A rainbow of bikinis fill my eyes full of tan flesh, I think of the parts of you that remain unstained. pure and hidden from the sun but not from me. As the night breeze blew across the bay, we walked hand in hand in love forever.
Our stars are flying fish on the deep green sea, while melodies of crashing surf beat in time with our hearts. Love made us virgins anew, children at play once more. As the night breeze blew across the by, together we'd dream, and spend bubble gum money.
Hours were spent in not too deep serious conversations, later our bodies and kisses filled our senses like stars, our best new friend, Mr. Moon was the only witness, as the night breeze blew across the bay, of our selfish, unleashed frenzied passions together.
Your perfume was the smell of the tranquil ocean, and you made me believe I could change the man I am. Deep down inside, my cynical heart beat as fast as the night breeze that blew across the bay. Hope was high, together we sought our perfect world.
Summers never last long enough in the north, days grow shorter as the night expand his darkness. Hot silver days turn deep gray, turbulent and windy, as the night breeze blew across the bay. We gathered our clothes to seek another shelter.
Love, like the mighty tide ebbs and flows, we sometime find ourselves stranded like fish in a tidal pool. Our love became beached on a sandbar at low tide. As the night breeze blew across the bay, I look and wonder why, I was foolish enough to say goodbye!
Winter leaves the beach as empty and barren as our lost love. Now you're married to someone else leaving me alone getting old, with only my memories of that bright special summer when as the night breeze blew across the bay, we made our promises never to part in a white boat.
The sunshine of your happy smile has turned into a rainbow of an unfriendly empty frown special for me. All I am left with are eyes full of tears of days when the night breeze blew across the bay. I walk in the rain in the sand, my hand and heart are empty.
Frozen winters never last forever, as nothing ever does. Gone now is the wondrous joy we shared when we were one, now our lost love is as empty as our foot prints in the sand. As the night breeze blows across the bay, I stare into the night and see the us of way back then.
I'm still on the beach but you went inland.
i try to fly on wings that are cliped but i stay here tight lipped because i can't i try to fit into the mold of a society that for outsiders is often cold in between the lines so straight i stand apart like a monument to hate and rejection and scorn and torment for not being one of them the incrowd the ones who rule this place so badly i could shout out loud are there any humans left alive besides myself?
the wings of time burn our flesh as it flies by we hurry to play too hard, rushing down the road racing to our maturity, escaping our childhood good-bye to our bikes, dolls, trains, seesaws, and balls hello nine to five, taxes, bosses, deadlines, and bills
we look back and smile, wishing for days long past while we fret over tomorrow and the days afterwards put down your newspaper, put away your work just for today let's play, fly a kite, run, and swing reach once more for those stars as we lie on our backs and wonder at the world, nature, love, and the universe keep the child alive, keep the inborn joy alive as long as we can
I lose a small piece of my mind, minute by minute, second by second. It troubles me that no one notices it, it chills me that no one cares. I can almost feel the oxidation of my neural peptides and transmitters! I wonder what reduction processes occur, as my brain slips further and further away. Good-bye GABA! So long serotonin! Soon, Robbi will be gone, replaced by...?
why do i sit and cry alone to myself i ask why is it better to live or to die?
the night is long and dark and lonely i imagine myself enveloped in your love but i stop and remind myself of the bad times spent together, walks never taken words said in passion that i never meant you abandoning me when i showed weakness tomorrow when the sun colors the day perhaps a true love will come and go as did so many others, so see you're not the first and i'm sure you won't be the last just one of many whom i have passed in the night
i dont know very much about life even though i've lived a bit of it like now love is as foreign as the moon and nearly twice as far away as a star i wake up every morning rather surprised how someone so ignorant of life and so void of inner self can live a life and see so much my mood colored like a rainbow with ever changing hues
i remeber the great pendulum on a clock one my granfather never had it swings to and fro who would have guessed that my life would reflect that thing which as a boy held me rapt and fasciated me so little knowing that clock rainbow i were all too terribly much alike
i'm not totally alone in my fate and journey there are others who walk my path with me some are stronger and lead the way and some weaker and lag far far behind but we all are like that pendulum moving side to side in a beat never still always moving wound by someone's mighty hand and we all come in the different flavors displayed by that magnificent rainbow
Got dem ole lithium shits blues shit dripping down into mah shoes I wouldn't mind it but it makes my ass sore an' always seems to happen in the middle of a store Gonna cure den lithium shit blues next time Doc says take, I refuse! Dats how to beat dem litium shits blues...
Quietly as a tiger stalking it's prey, it tracks me. Waiting to pounce into my empty lap, watching for just the proper moment to attack. Translucent eyes burning through the darkness, whiskers start to twitch and a tail tip writhes, like a lazy snake on a hot rock. Here kitty I call, as she proudly ignores my kind summons of affection and smiles. Drawing her back up, reconsidering, I await the attack that has been delayed until the element of surprise is hers once again. Meanwhile she skillfully attacks and disembowels the catnip mouse I gave her. It makes me smile and laugh she is my companion and friend, maybe my only true love, even thought I have to clean her litterbox!
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