Watership Downs Syndrome Home

Emma (Centre) graduating from Sunshine Centre, a pre-school in Johanesburg for "Mentally Handicapped" children. (December 1997)

My Gifted Child ...

It all started late one Valentines day night in 1992. I was working early shift the next morning and, as a joke, I asked my extremely pregnant wife if she would mind going into labour to save me having to be at work so early the next day ...

Nursing my bruises, I went to bed around 11:00 pm, to be woken up gently at one O'Clock the next morning with "I think you had better wake up dear - it's time ...". This was followed by a frantic drive through empty streets to the Johanesburg General hospital, where at about 2:45 that morning, I delivered Emma, with the assistance of the mid-wife.

My wife was in her thirties at the time and we had been warned of the dangers of pregnancy at that age. However, we had both experienced handicapped people of various afflictions in the past so we opted to skip the amnio test. (A sample of Amniotic fluid is extracted from the womb and tested for various anomalies) We both agreed that an abortion was not an acceptable option for us rendering the amnio an unnecessary risk.

Emma weighed in at 2.345 Kg. As I held her in my arms, all bloody and wrinkled and slimy, it was love at first sight. I am not sure at which point someone realised that there was something unusual about her - to this day that is irrelevant. To me, all that matters is that Emma grabbed something within me with a grip that nothing on this earth will ever loosen. I remember doctors looking worried, people being concerned and blood tests ad nauseam. All through this, my prevailing thought was that she was healthy (for 1 month premature, very healthy), she was beautiful and I loved her to pieces. Eventually, it was confirmed that Emma had Down's Syndrome and sympathy poured in uninvited. I still (4 years later) frequently have to correct people expressing sympathy for my "Handicapped" child. In my mind, she has a greater capacity for happiness and love than any normal person. I consider these attributes to be far more relevant than scholastic achievements, career success or financial excess.

No-one knows exactly why some children are born with Down's Syndrome. In a nutshell, when the Father's and the Mother's Chromosomes split and join together at conception, one link in the chain stays stuck together. This results in an extra half link in the chain; that is 47 Chromosomes instead of the normal 46. As a matter of interest, potatoes have 48. The general opinion is that this happens more often as the mother's age increases. My own theory, which is totally devoid of any factual basis, is that older mothers carry Down's children to full term more often than younger mothers. Whatever the case may be, if I was given the chance to go back in time and have it any other way, I would do it just to have Emma exactly the way she is and watch her grow up all over again.

This is not intended to be an authoritive thesis on Down's Syndrome - I would never claim to have sufficient knowledge for that. My objective is to, if I can, pass on some of the joy that having Emma in my life has brought me. Early in Emma's life, we were warned that we would get adverse reactions from people in general due to Emma's looks. The truth is, I have yet to see anyone react to Emma with anything else than delight - and Emma makes sure she is noticed everywhere she goes. She bowls people over every-where she goes with her happiness - she literally gushes it out in an endless stream!

I was at a Formula-1 water-skiing meeting at the Vaal River at little while back - a Springbok water skier was sitting on the floor at the prize-giving looking suitable tough and wind-swept. Emma wondered towards him, caught his eye and floored him with a smile. Arms spread wide, she ran towards him and casually plunked herself down in his lap. At the risk of leaping to conclusions, I think the grin on his face evidenced his pleasure at being singled out!

Being entrusted with Emma is not without its heart-aches. At an early age she was diagnosed as having a defective heart - a common complaint for people with Down's Syndrome. The problem was a hole about one and a half centimetres wide between the two chambers of the heart. This can lead to lung failure, due to high- pressure blood meant for the body leaking into the lung circulation. Emma underwent open heart surgery at 7 months; it was heart breaking to see her lying in intensive care with all the bandage s, pipes and monitors connected to her. I had to call on reserves of strength I didn't know I had to get through that. The fact that my uninsured car was stolen from outside the clinic seemed insignificant at the time.

Emma proved to be the strongest of us all - she came through the operation with flying colours,(with more than a little thanks to wonderful doctors and staff) and she was back in action little more that 3 weeks later! Within a month, the only evidence of all that trauma was the zipper down her chest.

Emma is now on daily heart medication for the rest of her life. Apart from that, she is a very healthy child. She gets the sniffles in winter, but no more than most kids (and less than a few ...). She started walking quite late but it was well worth the wait to see the excitement on her face when she took her first steps; she was as excited as I was! Emma's speech is starting to pick up now. True to form, one of her first words was "Daddy". Every time I see her, she is picking up more and more words.

The horizons for Down's kids have exploded in the last few years. In the past, they were stuck in institutions as hopeless cases, and only fed and cleaned. Put any "normal" child into the same situation and that child would also become a hopeless case. More recently, people have refused to give up on their children like this and found that, given enough stimulation, Down's kids can achieve almost anything. A few years ago, I heard of a Down's girl in England who had just passed her drivers test! I am sure many of you have seen "Corky" in the television series - he is an accomplished actor.

Who knows what Emma will become? I have visions of her learning to drive, learning basic mechanics and becoming a computer boffin. Her mother sees her as either a dancer or a gymnast. My mother watched her throwing a ball for the dog and imagined Emma throwing the shot-put in the special olympics. I expect that Emma will end up doing exactly what she wants to, and she will make the world a better place for doing it, and spread her special brand of love, joy and happiness in the process.

Some people see Down's children as handicapped; I consider Emma to be a gifted child. Maybe it sounds like bragging, and maybe I shouldn't brag, but to all the people who say 'Ah Shame' when they learn of Emma's condition, I can only quote what I have written on the custom made bumper sticker on my car ...

"My Kid's Got More Chromosomes Than Your's !"

(Originally written for "Health, Home & Beauty" magazine, August 1996)

This Down Syndrome Webring site is owned by Andrew Toms. Click for the [ Next Page | Skip It | Next 5 | Random site ] Want to join the ring? Click here for info! Graphics for this Down Syndrome Webring were created by Nora Lee