*******************************

Abby:Ok, so now what do we do?

Dawson: What do you think? We read more stories.

Abby: Damn. I was hoping you wouldn't say that.

********************************


Disclaimer: I don't own them, why would I want to own them anyway? Too screwed up for me.

Pacey: Thanks a lot. That makes me feel loved.

Hidden Secrets
By: Nicole

"My God, Jo. This movie's cinematic aspects are just short of awesome. This almost replaces ET for me. What about you?"

Joey nodded emphatically, "Definitely. The Baby-sitter's Club Movie? Should've been best movie at the Academy Awards."

Dawson: Oh, yeah. I guess it was just overlooked.

"You're so cute when you nod your head, Joey. Do it some more for me." Joey smirked and crawled across the bed toward Dawson, nodding her head slowly up and down as she went.

Dawson wiped his forehead, "You're making me sweat!"

Abby: Oh, please!

"I'll nod for you anytime, baby." Joey drawled. She crawled into her boyfriend's lap and snuggled against him. "Let's watch the movie again. I love the part when they discuss buying a car. So funny!"

Pacey: I don't remember that part.

Jen: Oh Pacey. Please tell me that you haven't seen that movie!

Pacey: What! I have sisters!

Dawson: That's not an excuse.

Dawson pushed Joey gently out of his lap and went to push the video in again, "They really do capture the essence of humor."

"I love when you talk dirty to me, Dawson."

Joey: Oh, yeah. Tell me the part about the camera angle again. It gives me chills!

(opening credits)
------------------

"Pacey, I love your best friend's girlfriend. What do you think about that?" Jack, Andie, and Pacey were sitting in the McPhee's living room, attempting to study for French.

Pacey: If that is Andie speaking I am going to be very upset.

Jen: I think it's Jack.

"I think you're starting to sound like your mother. Just don't start talking about an affair between you and Marilyn Monroe or else I'll be sure you come from your mother's side of the family."

"Comment dit on je t'aime en Anglais?" Andie asked.

Pacey and Jack stared at her, "Uh, what?"

Joey: She said she loves you. I think.

"Yeah, anyway," Jack continued, "you're not bothered by this?"

Pacey shrugged, "Two's company. Three's a party in my opinion."

Pacey: Actually......

Joey: Pacey, I don't want to hear your perverted logic.

"I'm not interested in Dawson, Pacey. Just Joey."

Abby: Actually, I think it's the other way around. He and Dawson might make a good couple.

Dawson: I don't think so.

"Oh."

Andie looked up from her book, "It means I love you, Pacey."

Joey: I told ya.

Pacey and Jack looked over at her, "Uh, what?"

Andie stood from the floor and yelled, "I love you! I love you, Pacey. I just can't hold it in anymore! Just tell me you love me as well and I can die peacefully."

Pacey looked confused, "You're dying?"

Jen: You are so oblivious.

"No! Just tell me you love me!"

Pacey stood and enveloped Andie in his arms, "Didn't we go over this already? You, Andie McPhee, are the person I love to hate."

Joey: I don't think that's exactly what she wanted to hear.

Andie smiled, "You are the person I love to love, though."

Pacey frowned, "Oh yeah, that too." He smiled and kissed her softly.

Andie pulled away and grimaced, "I'm tired of these conservative lip brushes. I want passion, romance, tongue!" Pacey raised his eyebrows as Andie stuck her face to his.

"I dig it," Pacey said against her lips.

Pacey:Oh yeah.

Jack, who was still sitting on the floor, mumbled, "I think I'm going to ask Tim what he thinks of Joey." Then he turned and ran up the stairs, yelling, "Tim! Tim! Where have you run off to?"

Abby: Can you say psychopath? Maybe he should start taking pills like his sister.

Pacey: Shut up Abby.

Abby: Sorry, I didn't mean to insult your precious perky little girlfriend. Oh wait. Yes I did.

------------------

Jen and Grams were sitting at their kitchen table, eating dinner, "Grams, don't take offense or anything, but this spaghetti isn't exactly my favorite."

Grams inhaled deeply in shock, "Don't insult the Lord in that way, Jennifer. He loves us all!"

Pacey: Especially those who eat spaghetti! So eat!

Jen shook her head while thinking, 'almost time for that nursing home.'

Jen: Actually, long over due is more like it.

She stood from the table and started to throw away her half plate of spaghetti. Grams jumped up from the table and stole the plate out of her hands.

"Never throw away excess food, Jennifer! I'll wrap it up and send it to Bosnia!" She hurried to a cabinet and brought out a box of tin foil. She ripped off a humongous piece and began to wrap it around the plate.

Jen: They are already starving, you don't need to punish them even more bby sending them your cooking!

Jen shook her head slowly and walked slowly up the stairs to her room. She thumped into her desk chair, "I am in a state of overly tedious irksome boredom," she declared to her calendar. She sat back and admired it, this month's picture included an extremely handsome man with a nice package. And Jen had seen enough to know what a nice one looked like.

Abby: I'm sure she has.

"I know what I'll do!" She declared suddenly, jumping up from her chair and opening her closet door. She looked at its contents and sighed happily. Inside was a huge blown-up picture of Jack McPhee. It was surrounded by vanilla scented candles, his favorite smell. In front of the picture were various tokens she had collected. There was a rag with a spot of blood on it. It was from when Dawson had punched Jack at the dance, she had wiped off the blood from the bruise and saved the rag. Next to it lied a coin. It had fallen out of his pocket when he was dropping Jen off at her house. She had seen it and picked it up. Next to that was a crinkled, torn piece of paper. This Jen picked up and snuggled to her cheek. It was a written transcript of their conversation on her doorstep. She had run inside after he left, placed the coin in the shrine and written, verbatim, what he had said to her. She would die for Jack McPhee.

Dawson: Is anyone else scared?

Too bad he was hung up on that toothpick snot Joey.

----------------

"Dawson, do you think I look like a toothpick?" Joey turned sideways in front of the mirror and pinched her side. Not one bit of excess fat.

Dawson looked up from his laptop and glanced her up and down, "Of course. Why do you think all the guys drool over you?"

Abby: Rabies?

Joey nodded, "Uh-huh, you're right. I'm not going to eat anything ever again so I can get more guys."

Dawson frowned, "I thought you only loved me, Joey."

"Well, now I do, but who can tell what will happen next week. That Jack McPhee is pretty handsome."

Abby: Hate to break it to you but you too might not be good together. You might not mesh. You like rock, he likes showtunes. See where I'm going with this?

Dawson nodded slowly, "I see your point. When Jen Lindley throws up all over my bedspread it really turns me on."

Dawson: Nothing like vomit to get me in the mood.

Joey glanced at her watch, "School starts in ten minutes, Dawson."

Dawson jumped up from his computer, "Let's go, chikita."

Pacey: Chikita? As in La Femme?

Dawson: No Pacey, thats Nikita, La Femme Nikita.

------------------

"You know, Andie, I went to ask Tim a question yesterday, but he wasn't home. What time did he get in last night?"

Andie sighed, "I don't know, Jack. He comes in later and later every night. I'm starting to worry about him."

Jack put his arm around Andie's shoulders comfortingly, "He's fine, Andie. Just caught up in fast pace college life."

Abby: More like the fast pace college after-life.

Andie nodded, "I should be happy for him, I just wish I could see him more."

"We all do, Andie, we all do."

Pacey walked up to the pair with Jen, "Get your hands off my girlfriend, McPhee!"

Jen: Over react much?

Jack jumped back, "Pacey, she's my sister!"

"You call that an excuse?" Pacey barked.

Jack turned to Jen and raised his eyebrows, it was a sign between them. Jen nodded and they hurried off from Pacey and Andie, who were involved in another passion, romance, and tongue kiss.

Jack opened the door to the janitor's closet for Jen, "After you m'lady."

Abby: Oh please.

Jen giggled and entered the closet. Jack walked up to her and stepped close. "You got something?" He whispered.

Jen smiled, "Of course," she breathed. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a bundle of papers. "Tom Sawyer. Fifty pages, SAT vocabulary. Just like you asked."

He smiled and pulled out a wad of bills, "Here you go."

Jen shook her head, "You don't have to pay me, Jack. I enjoy doing this for you."

Jen: Oh yeah. Sounds fun.

He cupped her chin in his hand, "You're so sweet, Jen. Thanks a bunch." He turned with the essay in his hands and exited the closet.

Jen felt as if she were floating. He had called her sweet! She sighed and went to sit on a table. "Shit!" She exclaimed as she stepped into a bucket of mucky water. "We need to find a neater place to meet!"

------------------

Pacey leaned back and listened to his Algebra teacher, Miss Jenkins, talk about hypotenuse leg.

Dawson: Here we go again.

"Now, remember you must have one leg an angle and the hypotenus to prove the triangle this way." She leaned over to pick up a stack of papers and every male in the classroom, except Pacey, leaned forward to admire the cleavage that peeked out of the top of her shirt. Pacey sat back in his chair and sighed, Tamara never flaunted herself like that. Then Pacey shook himself. What was he doing? Free chance to stare at a girl's boobs and he was thinking about Tamara? What a jerk!

He raised his hand eagerly and waited to be called on, "Yes Pacey?" Miss Jenkins drawled.

"You dropped a paper."

"Oh! I did? How clumsy of me!" She leaned over in front of Pacey and began to search the floor. Pacey smirked and gave high five's to all the guys sitting near him. He was so intelligent.

Joey: Intelligent is not the word I would use.

She stood up after a second, "I can't seem to find it Pacey."

Dawson: Gee, I wonder why.

He stood, knocking his chair over in the process, "It's right there, Miss Jenkins." He pointed to a random spot on the floor. She bent down again and Pacey slapped a few more hands. "Oh no! It flew under the desk!"

"Oh my," she exclaimed and dropped to her knees. A collective groan went up around the room, every girl in the class stood and exited the room, disgusted. The males stood and gathered around Miss Jenkins, shouting where the paper had flown to. Pacey smiled, it was a great way to waste a math period.

Jen: Yup, wouldn't actually want to learn anything, would you.

------------------

Dawson, Joey, Pacey, and Jen were sitting on Dawson's bed, glued to the television screen. "Infomercials just blow my mind," Dawson declared.

"Oh, me too! This super sealer is amazing! Look how it splits that bag in half!" Joey exclaimed.

Jen nodded, "A great invention!"

Pacey pumped his fist in the air, "Three cheers for the super sealer!"

"Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!" The four friends sighed contentedly and tuned back into the TV.

"Ooo, I despise freezer burn. It really tickles my pickle," Pacey said.

Abby: Now thats an interesting euphemism.

"I agree! It kills at the Icehouse. We find a fresh, healthy stray dog behind the restaurant and chop it up for tomorrow's stock. We come in the next day, extract it from the freezer, and it's ruined! Damn freezer burn."

Abby: I knew that burger tasted funny.

Dawson, Pacey, and Jen expressed their dislike of freezer burn. Pacey pumped his fist in the air, "Three boos for freezer burn!"

"Boo! Boo! Boo!"

"We've just wasted an entire episode, guys," Dawson said.

"Doesn't it just make you feel worthless," Pacey added sadly.

Jen nodded in agreement.

"Not to fear my dears!" Joey shouted, "I heard in next weeks episode I boink. Jack

Abby: Well, I hate to burst your bubble deary.......

and Dawson loses his virginity to Jen!" The three aforementioned people cheered and gave each other high five's.

Pacey frowned, "What's in my future?"

Joey knitted her eyebrows together, "I can't see anything..."

Abby: Hmm, why could that be? Could it be that Pacey doesn't have a future and is destined to spend the rest of his life working in a video store?

Her face broke into a smile, "Oh! I remember! You and Andie have a huge quarrel and break up!"

Pacey sat back against Dawson's headboard and grinned, "All right!"

Pacey: No! Not all right!

And all was well in Capeside.

~~~~~~~~~

*********************

Abby: Well, that sucked.

Dawson: You know once and a while we say something positive about the story.

Joey: Oh I know!

Dawson: Yes Joe.

Joey: Abby wasn't in it.

Pacey: You're right! That is a silver lining on this dark cloud of a story!

*********************