Back in January,1990, I was working in the oilfields Of Northern BC, Canada.. I was a
doing some standard maintenance on an oilwell at an nice chill -40 degrees. The line was
plugged,so we were to unplug it. During the operation it blew up,(thru no fault of our
own,just circumstance).. Parts of the wellhead flew by me, caving in my skull, and
trapping me by the legs, while 3 miles of oil line depressured onto me. It was a very
horrific experience. Apparently I lost consciousness for about 1/2 hr ,all I can remember
is the helicopter landing to take me to hospital (75 miles away), then another trip by jet
to a major centre 800 miles away. I was covered from head to foot in crude oil (and
smelling real bad of H2S gas).I was only in the hospital for about a week..WOW..short time you say..well, it was,,but from there on my troubles had only just started..
I had swelling in the face (from the high pressure oil),teeth loosened, jaw and neck problems,hearing problems,slow left side,balance problems, poor short term memory,trouble understanding words, concentration problems, dyslexia, mood swings, depression, lack of sex drive (come to think of it, lack of any drive), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.. The first year or so is just a blur of memory to me.It could have been from the heavy medications, or just my brains way of blocking the pain and shock.I could not remember even my wifes or my pet dogs names!!!!
People would speak to me, I would recognise the words, but I didnt understand what they meant..I would get lost in sentences real easy, specially if the person used more than 10 words in a row..And I would lose all the meaning of the previous sentences if they just kept talking..It was a tough time..Over time I found that part of the problem was from damaged hearing on the lefts side, Signals from the ear to the brain were being scrambled (that only showed up in a sophisticated computerized hearing test)..
Over the years (7 so far), I have had many differnet people helping with my rehab.I have had to relearn to read and do math..(that was a shock,going from an engineering status to not being able to do grade 3 math). I have learnt to addapt to many of my problems,ie ,walking on soft ground, keeping my tasks to short duration,even how to pace myself at things so as to not overload my sense too much.I can still remember the pre tbi days very clearly,maybe that is bad, because I compare the deficits I have now too much with what and who I was. I am no longer the outgoing, hardworking achiever that I used to be..
I am tellin this because no doctors seem to tell you of all the troubles you might be up against.. You lose many friends ,your family has a much heavier burden to carry caring for you..Roles in the family often have to switch without warning..suddenly the wife, previously the homemaker, is suddenly forced into being the major breadwinner, and a caregiver at the same time.
On the outside I look like an ordinary person, the scars hardly even show, but inside is much turmoil..Many of my old skills are not re-usable, the stamina does not allow it, the unclear thinking does not allow it,and yes, the lack of confidence in myself now does not allow it..
Will I ever work again, I dont know, unforseeable in the near future,and that is a major
blow to my psyche..
Yes, I have come a long way, and yes, there is further to go..
