Suicide Rant

My rant for the moment... and please take note that this rant is being written when i feel ok... i dont feel depressed or suicidal... last week i was extremely depressed and suicidal... and this week i feel fine... why? i honestly cant tell you... but i know it'll get bad again... but i dont want to go into that now because i just dont feel like it because im ok therefore I'd like to stay that way as long as possible... now onto my rant... well onto the main portion of my rant

OK... I've experienced suicide from two angles... one of being suicidal and having attempted suicide... the other of having gone through friends being suicidal and friends attempting suicide.

So for now im leaving out what its like to be suicidal because i'd rather not.. ok anyways.... having a friend attempt suicide is one of the toughest things ive been through... because i know what its like to be in that place where your life is worthless you are hopeless and you just want it to stop and death seems the best anwser to you... Then again you don't want to see another person going through those same feelings and you don't want them to die because you *know* that death isn't the anwser to your problems... so what do you do? you talk to them, you relate to them, you listen to them, you don't want them to die... you do anything you can do to prevent that... even if that means telling on them tell their parents, tell your school counselor, tell someone, if they are in immediate danger or have already taken an overdose call the hospital or call the police... it seems harsh and it may seem like you are going behind their back and breaking promises but remember an angry friend is better than a dead friend

Believe me I know... i've done it and had it done to me... your friend is most likely going to be extremely pissed off at you for doing it but once they become rational again after they recieve help, they will most likely thank you later because when your suicidal you don't have the energy to get yourself help, its not that you dont want help you just can't get yourself motivated to do it... and if you call the cops or someone on a friend who's overdosed already they are definately going to be pissed... they are going to go what the fuck happened? why am i still alive? what did i do wrong? .... these are the thoughts running through their mind because they thought they wanted to die... eventually they will see that they didn't want to die, it may take alot of time to see this but it will happen....

Don't let what ive written here discourage anyone from seeking help or telling about a friend, i hope it encourages you to do so and maybe gives you alittle insight into how the person was feeling, is feeling, and may feel... please never loose sight that life is the right choice no matter what you feel like at the moment because death isn't the anwser... you can't undo death, its permanent, there is no turning back or coming back because you will be dead...