Read What Others Have Shared
(February 2000)
There Is Hope In Knowing That You Are Not Alone
February 24, 2000
2:04 PM
From : Chuck
E-mail : lewismusic@home.com
First of all I want to give God glory for this awesome web site it really helped me through my day.
I didn't submit my story on my last e-mail but I did feel compelled to encourage those of you who may of read it.
One of the stories spoke of a snowstorm and they couldn't see two feet in front of them.
I go through the same thing, except my snowstorm is a wall. I can be doing OK then suddenly BAM I hit this wall and it won't let me pass. Thoughts of failure, anxiety, and lack of motivation set in. I know God is bigger than all this. He used one of my worse days to searh for answers.
I got on the web and found many different types of depression. I ran out and bought St. John's Wort a mood herb perscribed for depression by a Christian. I bought sleep herbs, thinking lack of sleep was causing me to crash during the day. I don't know what it is. But God's definetely in controll.
In the story of Job I believe God told Satan have you considered my servant Job. So even if the Devil has a hand to play, God will use it for good if your called of Him. Ro. 8:28
I'm 42 and have been through some fierce battles, my health is not doing to good therefore I can't do my job as well.
Depression is not helping at all.
Thank you all for your stories, remember to pray for one another.
Sincerely,
Chuck
February 24, 2000
12:53 PM
From : Chuck
E-mail : lewismusic@home.com
Hi readers,
To be totally honest with you I was embarresed to share my story with you because I work for a Church and am Involved with ministries of different sorts.
I can relate to a lot of your pain and suffering.
The first scripture that comes to mind is "bear one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ". Galatians 6:2
So here we are bearing one anothers burdens. I believe through depression God is Challenging all of us to dig deeper into His word. I give you Psalm 116 as encouragement.
Here was probably one of the most oppressed depressed men in bible history yet he was still considered a man after God's own heart,that is just to cool. I have to go now. I encourage you if you haven't allready, to get on the net, and research what kind of depression you have.
I'll close with this, Jer. 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love, and with thy loving kindness I have drawn you.
Bye for now.
In Christ, Chuck
February 14, 2000
From : kb
E-mail : beast292@cs.com
First of all don't be thrown off by my e-mail address. I'm no devil worshipper. My husband picked beast because he is in a fraternity and that was his line name. Secondly, I am so elated that there is someone out there I can relate to. For as long as I can remember I have suffered from depression. I have taken many anti-depressants. I've seen many psychologists. I'm really tired (but not suicidal). I just don't know how to be happy. My real problem is that I feel that God is not happy with me because of the state I'm in. I have accepted Christ as my saviour, but I don't do anything for him. I don't go to church like I should, every now and then. My pastor is always suggesting that I do something in church like singing in the choir, etc. What I can't get people to understand is that I don't want to be bothered. The strange thing is that I really love people but I just want to love them from afar. Because of my mental exile I keep thinking if I died today would I go! to hell? There is so much I could share with you. Just telling you this little bit is exhausting to me (because I'm thinking what's the use. Please pray sincere words of prayer for me. Write to me with words of encouragement.
God bless you
February 12, 2000
From : Marisa
E-mail : kris@tstt.net.tt
Hi I am 15 years old and believe i have been suffering with depression for about three years.
All of a sudden i just stopped feeling God. I would go to church and try to worship God but i just couldn't feel him or touch Him. I felt like he had totally abandoned me!-and i would try to explain to my parents or someone and they would say well we don't go by our feelings-but how you feel when you are depressed (especially toward God) cannot be understood, in my opinion, by a person who's never been through it. It's llike being in a snowstorm and unable to see two feet in front of you. Anyway i soon came to believe that God specifically hated ME! i mean everyone else seemed to still feel Him and it seemed to be only me that he had turned his back on!
i used to pray ''God please just let there be a way that this can be explained- and that you can be who i thought you were'' Last summer i read a book about depression and realized finally that was what i was experiencing. I cannot express my love and gratitude to God for this and for being who he is, but i still stuggle.
i am trying to get this corrected, but at 15 it is not that simple. My parents are, very skeptical-and depression is very hard to understand if you've never been through it! I am trying to trust God but i have a couple of burning questions this is affecting my relationship with God and i can't really be everything i know he wants for me and live the way he want's me to like this but yet GOD GIVEN authority is preventing me from doing so(by not gettin medicine-which is what i need) why is he letting this be???
I really love God but this is such a blockage in my relationship with him. That is what bothers me the most i think. If i could just feel or see he was there all the time i know everything would be alright. But as it is, sometimes i can't even imagine Him!! I don't know if anyone understands what i am saying.
I am trying to do what is right but i end up being only religious and then getting really angry at God because it seems like i have to do all this work just to please him and frustrated.
Many of the storie i read here have touched me. People spoke about being told they were demon posessed and i have also been told that the root of my problem is certain faults in my life that i need to correct. As these comments are coming from my parents it is very hard-sometimes i actually believe what they say and thinlk if that's who God is i hate him!!! But i KNOW who God is and i LOVE Him, it's just...........
ps through all this God has been very near though, speaking in various ways and showing his love. It's just very hard to know this when it seems like an absolute lie!
pps sorry i have been so long!
February 4, 2000
From : Bryn
Yesterday I finally went to see a Biblical counselor at a nearby church because I am so frustrated with feeling sad, unmotivated, and unable to love the people around me the way I want to. I've been irritable with relatives feel paralyzed when I'm in a large group of people don't enjoy shopping because I think "why should I get new clothes--when I get a life, I'll deserve new clothes".
At the same time, I have intense feelings of love for my husband and 2 year old son. I cry with joy when I think how wonderfully blessed I've been to have them in my life. I am confidant that God is Sovereign, knows me, loves me, and is in control of this "plan" for my life.
So, my counselor diagnosed me with depression and suggested that we take a three-pronged approach to dealing with it. He suggested that I take Zoloft, an anti-depressant go through therapy to learn other tools to deal with it and continue in a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.
I grew up as a missionary/preacher's kid. I'm a pastor's wife now (I'm 27 and have one child). In my Christian college I distinctly remember hearing a message on why it's a sin to be depressed--that it's OK to be disappointed, but never let your disappointment turn to depression. So, I'm trying to figure out if this is a sin or an illness. I don't want to "choose" this cycle of sadness, frustration etc. Maybe my questions will get answered in counseling therapy.
Well, I've been researching depression tonight because I'm having such a hard time in deciding if medication is really right for me. THIS WEB SITE HAS HELPED ME TO SEE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, THAT THERE ARE OTHER COMMITTED CHRISTIANS WHO FEEL AS BAD AS I DO, AND SOMETIMES WORSE AND THAT THEY ARE USING GOD-GIVEN TOOLS TO HELP THEM BE THE PERSON THEY KNOW GOD IS MAKING THEM TO BE.
I hope to get more hope through this web site. I know I don't want to continue feeling this way. It's been getting worse for me the last four months. I hope to write about how I've found help and hope in Jesus Christ. I feel more at ease abouting using the medication.
I just feel so disappointed in the fact that I've labeled this as depression. It's interupted the plans I felt God had for me. Oh well. I know He's in control and I welcome His presence. I just didn't ever expect to be dealing with this too. Have any of you ever felt this way?