Read What Others Have Shared
(June 1998)
There Is Hope In Knowing That You Are Not Alone
June 28,1998
From: Elaine Reynolds
E-mail: horse@newmex.com
** NOTE** To Elaine: If you read this, I tried to e-mail you but it was sent back. Is this your correct e-mail address ? From: Hopeinsight
1. I feel overwhelming and irrational negativism, Very low self esteem, and low self worth.
2. The misconception that it is all a matter of attitude (trying to control my attitude helps) is the worst.
3. I wish people understood that trying to talk about depression is not trying to have a "pity party"
4. My husband thinks it is an argument or something, and tells me how worthless I am and I have absolutely no argument!
5. Knowing that God is always there and always cares and forgives no matter how worthless I am is what keeps me going. I tell myself it is just my brain chemistry and it is not real.
6. I hope and trust that my depression will become a source of spiritual growth.
7. Romans chapter 8 especially the last few verses about how nothing can separate me from thelove of God in Christ Jesus.
June 18, 1998
From: Babbs
E-mail: Babbs37@hotmail.com
Hello
I have suffered from depression for most of my life. It was easier to justify and rationalize when I wasn't a christian. Now I feel more pain and pressure than ever before. I have been through deliverances and lots and lots of prayer which just left me feeling like there is something wrong inside of me because the depression didn't go away. Each day for me is the same as the one before, where I open my eyes and wonder why I have to go through another day. Medication seems not to be working anymore and I wonder what Gods purpose is for me having this. I feel like giving up. I don't get dressed I eat and sleep. I know I have been in this spot before but this time I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I know this is not an inspiring story for others to read. I just needed to tell someone...anyone...
June 12, 1998
From: My son Dustin while visiting his bride-to-be Sarah
Dear Mom,
Right now I'm here at Sarah's house and I just finished reading your diary entry. I never realized how strong the depression is for you. I guess I never really asked about too many details, but I wish you would have let me know how you were feeling. You did tell me that you were suffering from your chemical imbalance, but now I see that in my mind I had a more generalized impression of what you were going through. I hope you never feel that you would be burdening me with your problems, because there is nothing I would want more than to be someone you could feel comfortable talking with, and knowing that I'd never blame you or make you feel responsible for it you could come to me and we could pray together. I love you very much, and not just the Mom of yesterday, but of today and tomorrow. When I was going through some rough times, you never made me feel like I was a burden, but instead you continued to show me love, and forgave me the first time I asked. You've been an excel! lent example of unconditional love, so you've got to believe that some of it has rubbed off onto me, and it's time to give it right back to you. I couldn't ask for a better Mom, a mom that's kept me in her prayers, encouraged, accepted and given me advice that was straight from the Lord. This web-site is a testament to what a sweet and caring person you are, seeking to help others in your position. The Lord is going to use you in miraculous ways the same way He has used you in my life. Now that I've read your story here on the net, the cat's out of the bag, and you're going to have to start sharing what's going on inside with the people who love you the most-your family(which will soon be including Sarah). I am very proud of what you've done here, and I'll talk to you more very soon.
Love,
Dustin
June 11,1998
From: Mystic
I just wanted to tell you that I can relate to everything you have said on your pages. I am currently on medication for clinical depression after attempting to go to sleep and not care if I woke up. I cried constantly as well, couldn't seem to get enough sleep and slowly closed the door to all friends and family and functions I used to enjoy. I could do nothing without crying, so it was easier to hide than to let others see me being so week as to cry for no reason. I am now finding out I have a thyroid problem which they say has contributed to my depression. Medicine helps only slightly with depression. It would work for a bit but before long depression would set in again, even worse than before. I have a long way to go to get this all worked out, but I can relate to people changing their opinion of you. All of a sudden people want to stay away, exclude me from their friendship and dont even want to know if I am getting better or what. I am happy you have yours under control and things being figured out. Your life is good then. I hope someday, mine may be as well. The one thing I am thankful for is that my husband has been my support through all of it so far. But how much can one man take. I hope I get better before he decides he has had more than enough.