Welcome to: THINGS THAT BUG ME
(The ALL-NEW X-TREME TURBO PRO MILLENIUM GOLD VERSION)
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Charlie (x-treme Breakdancer)...
THINGS THAT BUG ME:
1. The Dumb Geocities POPUP advertising thing you get when you go to another page on my homepage.
2. Able-bodied People on Welfare. Put them to work and they can be JUST as incompetent as the rest of the workforce!
(workforce huh? that's a good one)
3. PEOPLE WHO WALK, JOG, ETC. IN THE STREET INSTEAD OF ON THE SIDEWALK. (one of these days...my hand is gonna slip on the steering wheel folks!)
4. THE EVER-GROWING POPULATION OF INCOMPETENT WORKERS WHO CANNOT HANDLE EVEN THE SIMPLIST OF TASKS WITHOUT MESSING IT UP. (sadly most isn't due to apathy)
5. IDIOTS WHO FLASH THEIR HEADLIGHTS BEHIND YOU SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE LANES. Hey Mr. Autobahn, I'm all ready doing 80 and I'm not gonna inconvenience myself for YOU. so check out my brake lights!
6. THE FACT YOU CAN'T SIT IN THE DEEP END OF THE BATHTUB (I think they thought we wouldn't notice!)
7. People who think the world will be a better place if they impose a new tax on something....
.
8. THE SOUND OF PEOPLE EATING
9. Those cornball names news anchors have. "Wolf Blitzer?"
"Willow Bay" (maybe their parents were on acid?)
10. Trekkies, Harley People, Renaissance fair fools, sports card collectors.
11. People who just can't quite aim their car up to a drive-up window or ATM
and have to open up their door to reach it.
12. Realtors. Bleached used-car sales people I tell ya. Stop thinking you are some celebrity.
.
13. The sound of PEOPLE clipping their fingernails.
(Hey, picking your nose in public isn't acceptable either by the way.)
14. MEN WITH PONY TAILS (usually applies to people from #10)
15. "Simple to install" Plug and Play computer upgrades. Yeah right.....
16. Manufacturer Coupons and Rebates. "Why don't they just give you the savings UP FRONT, and save time and trees???"
17 SHIPPING AND HANDLING CHARGES. . You pay $20 for an item and then they charge you like $50 shipping and handling.....the price we must pay for convenience....
.
18. Those Calvin stickers on the back windows of trucks.
What better way to tell the world you are white trash??
19. People who think they have cars so special , they have
to take two parking places.
20. PAY-PER-VIEW EVENTS If suckers didn't fall for this we
all would be able to watch these events on regular TV...
21, ANY CONTRAPTION you strap on or pour into your car
that claims it will improve gas miliage or make it so it will never wear out. IT WON'T !!! Don't fall for this one!
22. HARDWARE that comes with a bunch of useless software for the sole purpose of luring you to buy the hardware. Sort of like the toy in the cereal concept... If the product was GOOD, no gimmic would be necessary. It adds to the price of the hardware and the hardware still stinks..
23. Any Overly-enthusiastic Waiter or Waitress, ESPECIALLY singing ones... (yet they CAN'T remember to refill your water!)
(AND they complain when people don't tip!!)
24. Trying to get a wrapper off a new CD (Is it just me??)
25. Clowns, Mimes, and Magicians
26. Webcams, Citycams, Etc. Cams. Pretty boring and how do you know it is really LIVE?
27. NO FEAR, and Big Johnson T-Shirts..... They don't fear being tacky, that is for sure.
28. Allan Greenspan: (I think he is Satan!)
29. Virus reports and chain letters sent on ICQ.
30. All those little tear out, mail off, magazine-cluttering leaflets you have to rip out just to read the magazine.
31. Speaking of magazines... Why can't they put an article together without scattering it throughout the magazine? ( cont. page 176)
32, Raisins
33. Home Pages with too many animated GIFS and pictures that take forever to load! (I think I am becoming guilty of that though!)
34. People who set their alarm clocks ahead of actual time to fool themselves into not being late. Who are you fooling!!?
35. Mechanical Pencils--- snap.....crackle........out of lead
36. Classic car owners who freak out if someone touches their car. Get back inside your plastic bubble, man!.
37. The IDIOTS companies hire who reply to your comments and questions about their services by E-Mail. I think their brains can only handle ONE question, as long as it is a simple one. Usually applies to people from #4 and #10.
38. Personal homepages with NO personal photos. I have seen enough Hello Kitty pictures to last me a lifetime.
39. The meaningless, pseudo-futuristic names they come up with for medicine. They sound more like the names of planets on Star Trek. It would be easier to remember names like:
"Allergy Relief Pill".
40. Those black, back support belly strap devices that everyone KNOWS don't do a thing to protect your back....but employers insist that we wear.
41. The over-usage of catch-phases in products, such as
"Pro" or "X-treme" or "Sport" . How can a shaving cream have professional standards? (should I have been getting paid for shaving this whole time?)
42. People who think that "sweats" are legitimate articles of clothing and go out in public in them.
43. Those Starbuck's coffee lids that have a little sipping hole in them that they cleverly designed to make the coffee squirt on your shirt if you move the cup the right way.
44. Guestbooks at webpages. NO! I don't want to sign it!
45. Those clear plastic anti-theft packages you have to use a chain saw to get the merchandise out.
46. Pants that have pockets that dump all your change out when you sit down. (usually goes deep in the couch cushions)
47. People who think a piece of red plastic bag is a permanent fix for a broken tail light lens on their car.
48. Catchup, Katsup, Ketchup, Catsup, Cetchup. How can a simple condiment have so many different spellings???
49. The way editing stuff in Geocities eats up my RAM and makes my computer lock up.
50. People who get a dent on their car, bondo it up, then primer it, and NEVER touch it again. (don't ya think the original dent was less of an eye-sore?!)
51. Those Y2K people selling and buying into the idea we are gonna starve to death January 1st. ( by the way, my pack of anarchist barbarian thugs are coming to your house first on the way to sacking the country-side)
52. People who wear some prestigious college sweatshirt who you KNOW barely made it through high school.
53. People who pay their own money to be walking billboards for
some shoe, clothing, etc. manufacturer. (suckers!)
54. People who get a burned-out headlight and drive around with their high beams on all the time instead of fixing it.
55. If second-hand smoke is deadlier than the smoke inhaled by smokers, then the third-hand smoke from the second-hand smokers must be what's killing off all the smokers...... it's only logical! I think I'm onto something here....
56. Magic Magnetic straps for your aching joints. (I have some snake-oil for you if you REALLY want results!)
YET....More Good Stuff From Jeff:
Check out the latest thing popping up on walls around here. Jeff's "Tulare County Murals"
Read about my 1998 Myrtle Beach Vacation here! Jeff's Guide to Myrtle Beach, SC
Visalia Pictures
Need a Handy Place for Weather Maps? Jeff's Home Page
Me
Everything here is the express opinion of me. This page is not an advertisement for any commercial business. All pictures photographed by Jeff Heeszel I would greatly appreciate any comments or feedback and will reply to any email or questions. © August 1999.
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