SUN MICROSYSTEMS SUES ISLAND OF JAVA*

Mountain View, CA -- Sun Microsystems today filed a trademark infringement
against the island of Java* over the use of Sun's Java* trademark.

Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for
centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that time they
never filed for a trademark. They deserve to lose the name."

Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its name.
They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but an angry telegram
from Redmond, Washington, convinced them otherwise. The country finally
settled on a symbol for a name -- a neatly-colored coffee cup which still
evokes the idea of java. Since most newspapers and magazines will not be
able to print the name of the island, it will hereafter be referred to in
print as "The Island Formerly Known As Java*".

The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass island,
but so far has only been implemented in production on the Malay
Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it on Madagascar,
but it is still in alpha testing.

Lawyers from Sun would also like to locate the owners of the huge fiery
ball at the center of the solar system. They have some legal papers for
them...