THE REVENGE
Riassunt of the precedents puntats: God, the boss of the Paradise, has cacced out, very very fuor, in the "freddo divertente" that in english si dice "fun cool", Adam, Eva and the fruit of the peccat: the Nutell.From that moment, the life of God was very very squallid, very very
scocciant, very very noious. Infact God is onnipotent, He knows everything,
very very tutt, perciò He don't si può veder one football partit because già
knows the risultat: He don't si può legger one yellow book because già know
the assasin, don't può play the lotto, tombol, lottery of Capodann, because
He già lo knows who vinces and who perds (di solit God vinces at lotto,
infact He is soprannominated "Padre Terno"), He knows già everything, tutte
cose.
The unic thing that God don't sapeva, was what cazz di end aveva fatt the
Nutell and, under under, sotto sotto, after one sacc of time that he don't
have nothing notiz about the Nutell, God was very curios, ma very very
curios, because God is formed dalla Santissima Trinity, perciò God has the
curiosity of the Father the curiosity of the figl, and the curiosity of the Spirit
Sant: 'na cifra di curiosity...
God was pensing to qualcos per rintracciar the Nutell and so decided to
mandar 'ncopp the Terr one part of the Santissim Trinity: so chiamed the
Spirit Sant that is the most sfigat of the Trinity, (that quand God want the
cigarettes or want the giornal, He sempr calls the Spirit Sant that in deep in
deep, in fondo in fondo, is the apprendist of the Trinity, the shop-boy, the
ragazz of botteg) and God dissed to the Colomb: "Now you go 'ncopp the
terr and cerc 'nu poco this cazz of Nutell that da secols and secols I don't
have notiz".
The Colomb se ne voled from the Paradise vers the Terr. "Good Viagg!"
dissed God watching the colomb flying...
The Colomb was avvicinanding to the Terr. "Good Fortun!" dissed God
watching the Colomb avvicinanding...
The Colomb entered in the atmosphere of the Terr. "In bocc al wolf!" dissed
God watching the Colomb in the atmosphere.
The Colomb was ormai in the ciel of the Terr. "In cool at the balen!" dissed
God watching the Colomb in the ciel of the Terr.
PAM!! One cacciator of Frosinone accirrette the Colomb with 'na scaric of
pallettons.
"Azz!" esclaimed God
"Pork Mignott!" esclaimed the Colomb, "God, ma nothing nothing do you
portass nu' poco sfiga?" And Murretted into the Frosinon Forrest.
At this point God facing the vague, ma very very vague, ma very very very
vague, vague 'na cifra, fischietting and canticching si avvicined a Jesus and
gli dissed: "Jesus, my predilett figl!..."
"Te credo" risposed jesus "I am the unic figl..."
"Don't scherzar everytime, Jesus!" dissed God, "I'm parling seriament: if you
go 'ncopp the Terr, I'll give to you 'na bella cosa: the Nutell!"
"With the cazz!" dissed Jesus "I aggio visted the end che ha fatt the Spirit
Sant, I don't want to be accised by a fetient cacciator of Frosinon!"
"But don't ti preoccupar! Don't succed nothing, and if you want star very
sicur, ma very very sicur, ma very very very sicur, sicur 'na cifra, I give
you three (3) miracols, so you can go tranquill, very very tranquill 'ncopp
the Terr".
"Ue' Daddy" dissed Jesus "I don't want go to 'ncopp the Terr!! But comunq,
proprio perchè sei you, I will go 'ncopp the Terr se you..."
"Se io...?"
"Se you accatt me the motorin!"
"The motorin is pericolous! L'altra volt t'aggio visted 'ncopp the Vesp of the
figl of Mosè sgomming and impenning su 'na ruota only!"
"And I don't go 'ncopp the Terr!" dissed Jesus.
"What a cacacazz of figl che teng! And it goes good! Va buo'!: now I give to
you tre miracles and when you return, I'll give the motorin. But you trov the
Nutell!"
So Jesus nacqued in ne grott al cold e al gel.
Will riesce Jesus a compier the mission to salv the humanity from the
tentation of the Nutell?
Che a him don't gliene può fregar of meno, but he want the motorin, with the
parabrezz, the baulett and the adesiv of his face, with the scritt "Volto Santo
of Jesus Christ protegg me"?
We will know everything to the proxim puntat of the "Good 'na cifra Tales".
Amen.
PALESTINA JESUS & THE PREDATORS OF THE NUTELLA PERDUTA
Riassunt of the precedents puntats: dopo aver cacced from the Paradise Adam, Eva and the Nutell, a God gli venn the sfitz di ritrovar the Nutell in the mond, so he manded Jesus ncopp the Terr. But siccom Jesus dont voleva andar, god promised to him tre miracles (in case of necessity, don't si sa never) and soprattutt, se Jesus ritornava with the Nutell in Paradise, God for premium, gli accattava the motorin. So Jesus nacqued in one grott al cold and al gel.
After qualck ann, when he was more grandicell, he troved finalment the
Nutell. And pure Jesus vided that the Nutell was good, ma very very good,
m good na cifra, solament that Jesus aveva the Mamm, the Madonn, that
always nasconded the barattolos of the Nutell in the most incredible post,
under the mangiatoy, in the cofanett of the mirra, in the attrezz of San
Joseph...
But we sappiam that Jesus avev the Nutell because of the miracles, the tre
miracles that faced:
- Miracle number one: The resurrezion of Lazaroni, one fabbricant of biscot
that, for riconoscenz, regaled a Jesus le sue actions of the Nutella SpA so
Jesus divenned the principal azionist of the Nutell.
- Miralce number two: The Nozze di Cana, dove jesus, alla fine of the pranz,
trasformed il dessert in nutell, con big godiment of tutt the invitats and the
tutt the imbucats 8that, at the matrimon, don't mancano never).
- Miracle number three: The Moltiplication of the Pan end the nutell, in cui
Jesus, per incrementar the affairs, con one rossett and one little vaschett of
Nutell sfamed nu dacc of little boys, the ragazzins, the pischells, the
guagliunciells, because Jesus is very very furb, furb 'na cifra, and he knows
that se one boy assagg the nutell, after per tutt the life the ragazzin will cake
the cazz days and night in the recchiies of the mamm to comprar the Nutell.
But one giorn very very trist, Jesus decided to offrir one cena for the
discepols. the discepols eran like the Consigl of Amministration of the
Nutella SpA.
During tutt the cena they were parling and chiackiering of the more and the
less (del più e del meno) but a un cert point, Jesus presed the pan, lo
spezzed, lo dieded ai discepols and disses: "Uagliò lets prend the Nutell
that i mi want far 'na panz tant!"
But purtropp, cerc di qua, cerc di là, they don't trovaron the Nutell and aveva
scambied la formula per trenta denars, one abbonament in lateral tribune of
the Naples Football Club and five filmins of Moana Pozzi, giving the formula
to one fariseo, Mister Ferrero.
And fu così che Ferrero divvened ricc and famous; and fu così that Jesus
s'incazzed very much, ma very very much, much 'na cifra, bestemming the
mamm, the babb, and tutt the saints amici suoi, but ormai don't c'era più
nothing da far; and fu così che God, per dispett, invented seduta stant the
"Peccat of Golosity"; and fu così che Jesus is l'unic in tutt the Paradise that
still andand a pieds, senz the motorin...Amen.
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