They called off the investigation of President Clinton due to a lack of evidence.
Turns out he didn't tell her to lie, he told her to kneel.
Only Clinton can take our mind off a sex scandal with another sex scandal.
What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the
rest of us?
When we want some dick in the White House, we just vote.
To which preacher did Bill go for advice?
Oral Roberts
How does Hillary feel?
She may be the FIRST LADY, but she won't be the LAST!
New souvenir wardrobe: I was a White House intern and all I got was this stain on my T-Shirt.
Bill's just proven there's one job he wants more than being President.
Why doesn't Monica eat bananas?
She can't find the zipper.
How did Bill reply regarding questions of "coaching"
Monica's testimony?
"It wasn't words that I put in her mouth."
What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common?
They both heard a giant sucking sound!
President Clinton said to Monica, "I didn't tell you to lie in the deposition. I told you to lie in THAT position!"
Bill Clinton's favorite pick-up line: "I'd love to meat you in the Oval Office."
In a surprise interview, Monica was asked about the details of
her late night meetings with the President. "I can't remember
the details," she said,
"but I know the answer is on the tip of my tongue!"
How do you know Bill Clinton is done having sex?
When you have to wipe the "White-Water" off your blouse.
Did Monica like her job at the Pentagon?
The work was OK, but the benefits sucked.
If the job was so boring, why didn't she quit?
She didn't want to blow another opportunity.
It's easy to see why Monica Lewinsky got a job at the Pentagon.
She was always sucking up to the Commander in Chief.
Who were Monica Lewinsky's favorite military personnel when she worked at the Pentagon?
Seamen.
Monica Lewisky gave Clinton a tie for a present. To return the favor, he gave her a pearl necklace.
What's the worst thing Bill ever heard during sex?
"Honey, I'm home!"
The difference between Bill and his dog Buddy is that Buddy chases his own tail.
How will Clinton build his bridge to the 21st century?
Apparently while part of a federal prison work release
program.
What does Bill tell Hillary after sex?
Nothing, she hears about it on the evening news!
This case proves that when you move from Little Rock to Washington, you get to harass better looking women.
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and his dog Buddy?
One tries to hump the leg of every woman in the White House,
the other is a chocolate lab.
Aide (to President): Kenneth Starr sucks!
Bill: Well, send him right in!
What do Bill Clinton and Dennis Rodman have in common?
They're both rebounding champs in their respective professions.
After a meeting with the Pope, Bill Clinton held a press conference and announced that they had a very successful conference and had agreed on about 60% of what they discussed. When asked what they discussed, Clinton replied: "The Ten commandments."
What did Yassar Arafat say to Bill Clinton?
Goats don't talk.
What's Bill Clinton's favorite bird?
The Round-Cheeked Rodsucker, it's rare, but native to all
parts of the world.
When Linda Tripp told Lewinsky that sucking up to the boss would get her ahead, she didn't mean it quite so literally.
Why didn't Bill take Monica out to dinner?
There was always plenty to eat in the office.
Why is dust piling up in the White House?
Because Kenneth Starr took away Clinton's best Hoover.
Why is the press referring to it as Swallowgate?
Because it's a full blown crisis.
What do White House Interns and Saddam Hussein have in common?
Clinton wants to bring them both to their knees.
What's the difference between bill clinton and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
What's the new game they're playing in the White House?
Swallow the Leader.
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
"Sat on the Presidential Staff"
In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep
with President clinton", 86% replied, "Not again"
What's the new press name for the latest Presidential scandal?
Fornigate.
What position did Monica Lewinsky have at the White House?
Missionary
How ironic... this is the second time in history a "Deep Throat" has been at the center of a presidential controversy.
If Kenneth Starr can extend his probe, what is wrong with clinton doing the same?
Why isn't clinton saying too much about the affair?
He's hoping it will Peter Out in a few days.
What did Clinton say when Francisco Duran started shooting at
the White House?
Oh Shit your husband's outside and he's
pissed!
What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
When Hillary is out of town.
What will Clinton's defense team be called if he stands trial?
The wet dream team.
What did President Clinton do with the two Abortion Bills that
came across his desk?
He paid them.
What does Hillary Clinton do after shaving her pussy in the
morning?
She puts a suit and tie on him and sends him off to work.
Why are staff cuts so difficult for Clinton?
He can't give a
woman a pink slip without asking her to try it on first.
Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
To meet the chick.
Why does Hillary wear the pants in the White House?
Cause Bill can't keep his on.
Most people are concerned about AIDS when having sex......
....Bill is worried about whether the aides will have sex.
Why does clinton wish he was like Ted Kennedy?
Cause Kennedy has an ex-wife and a dead girlfriend.
Who is the only woman in the White House not having sex with Bill?
Hillary.
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