One Sunday morning Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the greatest hunk in Washington. He lives in Georgetown and his name is Matt."
After dinner, the President took Chelsea aside. "Honey, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married a long time. She's a wonderful wife but she's never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Matt is actually your half-brother, and I'm afraid you can't marry him." Chelsea was heart-broken.
After eight months she eventually started dating again. A year later she came home and very proudly announced, "Robert asked me to marry him! We're getting married in June." Again her father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Robert is your half-brother too, honey. I'm awfully sorry about this." Chelsea was furious!
She finally decided to go to her mother with the news. "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," she complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the guy is my half-brother." Hillary just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father."
I am Starr. Starr I are.
I'm a brilliant barri-star.
I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
Did you grope her in your house?
Did you grope beneath her blouse?
Did you grope her on a train?
Did she blow you on your plane?
Did she give you gifts and ties?
Were you spied by prying eyes?
I did not do that here or there!
I did not do that in a chair!
I did not do that anywhere!
I went not near her giant hair!
I did not join --even for fun,
The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
So stow your feathers and your tar,
I did not do her Starr you are!
Did you smile?
Did you flirt?
Did you peek beneath her skirt?
Did you have sex with that fox?
Did she have sex with your cat sox?
And did you tell the girl to lie,
When called upon to testify?
That is it; you've gone too far!
I do not like you Starr you are!
I will not answer any more!
In fact, I think I'll start a war!
The public's easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on Iraq!
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