One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"
"Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies.
"I'll
take those mirrors out right away!"
Al and Bill were discussing pre-marital sex. Al asked Bill, "I never slept with my wife before we were married, did you?"
Bill replied, "I'm not sure, what was Tipper's maiden name?"
Clinton is shaking hands with voters. "Pleased to meet you,"
says one old man, "I've heard a lot about you."
Clinton laughs: "But you can't prove any of it!"
At a news conference, a journalist said to the President Clinton,"Fawn Hall said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."
"The truth is," said Bill, "that she has a big mouth."
So it's about Bill Clinton's new revelations about his sex life.
Seems today he finally admitted that he had sex with Gennifer Flowers a couple of times...but he didn't come.
Titles for a Biographical movie about Clinton
ALL THE PRESIDENT'S WOMEN
FREE MY WILLY
GOOD BILL HUNTING
LIAR, LIAR 2
THE LYIN' KING
INTERNS OF ENDEARMENT
THE "VICE" PRESIDENT
AFFAIR TO FORGET
SEX, LIES, AND AUDIO TAPE
Clinton: "Suck my dick"
TRANSPORTATION: Ted Kennedy
HOUSING: Leona Helmsley
LABOR: Anita Hill
DEFENSE: Rodney King
TREASURY: Charles Keating
HEALTH: Magic Johnson
CIA: Ross Perot
NASA: Jerry Brown
VETERAN'S ADMINISTRATION: Jane Fonda
SURGEON GENERAL: John Kevorkian
DRUG ENFORCEMENT: Marion Barry
FAMILY AFFAIRS: Woody Allen
At a doctors' convention in Switzerland, conversation was taking place at a local tavern after an enthusiastic mid-day lecture.
A Jewish doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one person and put it in another, and have him looking for work in 6 weeks."
A German doctor said, "That's nothing! In Germany we can take a lung out of one person and put it in another, and have him looking for work in 4 weeks!"
A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half of a heart from one person and put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks!"
The American doctor, not to be outdone, said, "HAH! We can take an asshole out of Arkansas, put
him in the White House, and have half of the country looking for work the next day!"
Aides can give you sex
Go ahead make my lay
Honk if Bill Clinton says you're rich
Honk if you haven't had sex with Bill Clinton
I can feel your tonsils
If she didn't spit, you must acquit
It isn't sex unless you smoke a cigarette
Monica Lewinsky has a big mouth
The Sex Education President
I can know my lies
Saw money in lick
Slick one may win
Nixon: Watergate
Clinton: Waterbed
Nixon: His biggest fear - the Cold War
Clinton: His biggest fear - a Cold Sore
Nixon: Worried about carpet bombs
Clinton: Worried about carpet burns
Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek
Clinton: His Vice President is a geek
Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger
Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her
Nixon: Couldn’t explain the 18 minute gap in the Watergate tape
Clinton: Couldn’t explain the 36-DD bra in his brief case
Nixon: His nickname was Tricky Dick
Clinton: same
Nixon: Ex-President
Clinton: Sex-President
Nixon: Known for campaign slogan "Nixon’s The One"
Clinton: Known for women pointing at him saying, "He’s the one!"
Nixon: Famous for his widow’s peak
Clinton: Famous for bringing widows to their peak
Nixon: Well acquainted with G. Gordon Liddy
Clinton: Well acquainted with the G Spot
Nixon: Took on Ho Chi Min
Clinton: Took on Ho
Nixon: Talked about achieving peace with honor
Clinton: Talked about getting a piece while on her
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