-Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
-I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.
-How about never? Is never good for you?
-I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
-I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
-I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
-I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..
-I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
-It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're
saying.
-I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
-I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
-You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
-I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
-I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
-I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
-Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
-The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an
artist.
-Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.
-What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
-I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
-It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
-Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
-No, my powers can only be used for good.
-You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
-Who me? I just wander from room to room
-And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
-Do I look like a people person?
-This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
-I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
-Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
-If I throw a stick, will you leave?
-You!... Off my planet!
-Does your train of thought have a caboose?
-Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
-Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
-A PBS mind in an MTV world.
-Allow me to introduce myselves.
-Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
-Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
-See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
-Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
-Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
-I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
-A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
-Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.
-Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
-Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
-Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
-Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
-How do I set a laser printer to stun?
-I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.