the Battle of the Bobbit Hillbillies
(Sung to the tune of "Beverly Hillbillies")





Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with a fraction gone,
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
She loped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
Penis, that is.
Clean cut.  Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there was a Ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin Willie for a ride.
And soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
And she tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.
Curve, that is.
   Tossed the nub.  : In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get the weenie back.
 They sniffed and barked and they pointed "over there,"
 To John Wayne's "Henry" that was waving in the air
  Found, that is.
  By a fence.  Evidence.

Now peter and John could not stay away too long,
So a dick doc said, " Hey I can fix that dong!"
" A needle and a thread is all we're going to need,"
And the whole world waited till they heard that Johnny peed.
Whizzed, that is.  Straight Stream.

Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault, and aquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the onlt thing they didn't show on tape.
Video, that is.
Exposed,  Case closed.





Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear??