Humorous Beer Quotes
"Buy a man a beer and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew and he wastes a lifetime."
* Unknown
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
* Frank Zappa
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
* Ernest Hemmingway
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
* Winston Churchill
"He was a wise man who invented beer."
* Plato
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
* Catherine Zandonella
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
* W.C. Fields
"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
* Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
* Churchill's reply
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
stomachs."
*David Daye
"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
* Oscar Wilde
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
* Henny Youngman
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
* Benjamin Franklin
"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose."
* "Deep Thoughts," by Jack Handy
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
* Dave Barry
"The problem with the world is that everyone is afew drinks behind."
* Humphrey Bogart
"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they,just like to pee alot."
* Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
* Kaiser Wilhelm
"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
* Homer Simpson
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
* Dave Barry
"I drink to make other people interesting."
* George Jean Nathan
"They who drink beer will think beer."
* Washington Irving
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
* Ernest Hemmingway ("For Whom the Bell Tolls")
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
* Dean Martin
"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me-so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
* Homer Simpson
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