|
Young Lieutenant, Smythe-Worthington reported to his first military
assignment, at one of those far-flung outposts of the British Empire, and
made an office call on the Commanding Officer. " SIR !", he called out, while saluting smartly, "Reginald Smythe-Worthington; Lieutenant of Quartermaster, reporting for duty!" The Colonel welcomed him to the unit, gave him an orientation on the local area, and described the duties for which he`d be responsible. At the end of his pitch, the Colonel said, "Although we work hard here, and conditions are a bit austere, we do manage to have some fun. For instance , today is Thursday. On Thursday nights the officers all get together at my quarters, smoke great cigars, and play poker into the small hours of the morning. We find it`s a great morale booster!" "I`m sorry, sir", the lieutenant replied, "but I don`t believe in gambling, and the smell of cigar smoke makes me queasy." The Colonel paused for a moment. "I see. . . . . .Well. . . , no matter, because tomorow is Friday, and on Friday we get together in the Officer`s Mess, tap into the rum and gin rations, and get good and drunk. It`s a fine way of to decompress after an exhausting week." "I`m sorry, sir", interrupted the lieutenant, "but I promised my mother I wouldn`t take up drinking while I was in the military." The Colonel again paused for a moment, and then stared at the lieutenant. "I see. . . . . .Well. . . , that`s quite alright. Because the next night is Saturday, and since it`s the weekend we all head over to the nearby town to court the women. The women are a wild and primitive bunch,as you might imagine, and their love-making can go on all night." "Sir, I`m sorry", replied the lieutenant, "but I really have no desire to associate with women of such loose morals." The Colonel stared silently at the lieutenant for several long moments. Finally, with a questioning look on his face, he asked, "Are you "queer", Smythe-Worthington?" "NO, SIR!", the young officer emphatically replied, with a look of revolution on his face. The Colonel again stared at him. "Pity. . . . . . You`re not much going to enjoy Sunday, either!" |
Back to english Jokes