A M E R I C A N

BY BIRTH

SOUTHERN

BY THE GRACE OF GOD!

Well, enough of the hogwash,
let's get down to what you really want to know,
I stand a towering 5 foot 2 inches tall,
Weigh in at a healthy 237 pounds,
I am blind in one eye, and deaf in one ear,
What hair ain't turning gray, is turning loose,
I have four toes missing off my left foot and
I have no thumb on my right hand,
Those close enough to me to be called my friends
have cordially nicknamed me "Lucky"

To answer right up front, some of the most FAQ's
1. No, I did not marry my sister, (but my cousin did)
2. Yes, I do drive a pick-up truck, complete with all the options
Coon tail, 4-wheel drive, c.b., and shotgun in rear window.
It is a 1974 model Ford And 8 more payments....
That sucker will be MINE!

Well, I went to the doctor today, Goldangest thang, I never saw!
Had to wait fer 'em to castrate seven pigs afore he'd see me.
The 'ceptionist ast me whut wuz wrong wi'me,
I told 'er I had shangles. She handed me a form to fill out
And said "Take a seat".
An hour and a half later, she told me to go back and see the nuss,
The nuss asked me what I had, again I said: "I got the shangles"
She pricked muh fanga and weighed me, then put me in a little room alone,
Finally two hours later the "doc" came in, he listened to muh heart,
And took muh blood pressure, then he asked me what I had,
AGAIN I said, "I got the shangles"
He looked down my throat, up my @ss and commenced
beatin on me with a hamma, finally he said,
I can't find anything, where do you have the shingles?
I said, "On the damn truck, now where do YOU want them?

More below:

Check out *Livydoll*

Check out *JYNX*
but beware!....