* * * Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.
Eat a bag of marshmellows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whip cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
Create an imaginary cat for a pet. Talk to it every night, act like you're holding it, keep a litter box under your desk. After two weeks, say that your cat is missing. Put up signs in your dorm, blame your roommate
. . . . Learn to levitate. . . . . . While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. . . .When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin. .....
Watch TV at least 15 hours a day. Before doing so, turn the set around so it faces the wall. Watch the back of it.
HOW TO WRITE GOOD by Frank L. Visco My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules: Avoid alliteration. Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Contractions aren't necessary Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. One should never generalize. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." Comparisons are as bad as cliches. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. Profanity sucks. Be more or less specific. Understatement is always best. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. The passive voice is to be avoided. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Who needs rhetorical questions? ...........WHAT'S LEFT ....MAYBE A GRAPHIC
