The Making Of Dil Mein Kabhi Kabhi
This is the story behind the songs. The inspiration for my music. The reason why the pictures at many places are of a sinking ship. All my songs are in this story. Each song comes at an important part of a chapter. Dil Mein Kabhi appears at the most important juncture - The separation. After a decade of being together, she drifted away into the mist, like a feather is blown away by the harsh winter breeze. I became numb, with cold - where my heart was there remains a big gap, I don't have any feelings - no emotions. That's why my songs can be classified as A.K & B.K. I.e., After Kiran (mostly sob songs) & Before Kiran (very happy songs). Today, I find it very difficult to write songs without referring to "Tanhai" & "Kal". Well, you may smile but I don't think that's very funny. Kiran was the most lovely thing that ever happened to my agony filled life. She bought in trust & affection & taught me the meaning of true love. Alas !, when I learnt everything, she was rudely snatched away. The true story I'll reveal later. The last time I met her as herself, I hugged her for a long, long time. Maybe I had the premonition that we may never meet each later. All the love, we had....The last time I'd talked to her was 702 days back, we had parted saying I love you. The next time I saw her was more of a coincidence...A month later, I was coming out of a video shop & I saw her with a new "friend" of hers. We looked at each other for a long time. Both of us were surprised & I saw the tears fill up in her eyes. She looked so spent & tired of everything. The message was "I'm dying, come to me...", a second later, she literally swallowed her tears before they came out, took a deep breath & walked forward. She did not even look at me as she passed by & I could only whispher at her "Kiran, kiran...", but she went away slowly, but surely. I stood rooted at that stop, looking at her...... That day was the worst day of my life. I felt as if someone had stabbed me. My happiness hardly mattered, but she was looking so sad & forlorn, that "Dil Mein kabhi kabhi...". I remember making the song. Usually, I'd always had to try to make the tune & create the lyrics..This time they came by themself. Then I understood the meaning of the words "straight from my heart". I've always found it very difficult to speak fluently & continuously in Hindi. But I guess loneliness & heart-break has no language. I composed this song. But the background score set by Harihar always had something lacking - I felt. Then after 6 months I met Annie, while practising this song for a competition. It was an evening. Her house was very quiet & I was telling her the situation of the song, trying to make her understand that the song sounded very happy. I wanted something very emotional, very touching, people should cry after hearing the song. Then I told her, do something with just a single note & we got the extremely beautiful, & touching intro of the song. I fell in love with that tune...Later on, we planned to record the song before I came to Mumbai. Then I was trying hard to create the 2 scores in between. Only because of the intro I'd heard from Annie, I was able to create some of the best music I've ever done. The background music in between of "Dil Mein..", speaks for me. It is the hurt, the pain I've suffered silently and it speaks for itself, better than any words I can ever say. It shows the incredible loneliness I've always wanted to potray to the World. I guess someday you'll agree with me.... As a parting note, I would like to inform the reader that one of my friends in Mumbai sent this song to his girl friend in Bangalore who had gone away from hime for the past many years. I'm happy to say that he got her back. Atleast my song was of use to someone....	Back to the band... Love happens only once in a life-time, those who are lucky are able to retain it. For the others there's the saying: "If you love someone, let her free...If she comes back to you, she'll be yours forever, and if she doesn't, she was never yours to begin with..." Jaane woh kaise Log the jin ko Pyar, se pyar mila Hum ne to jab Kaliyan maangee Kaaton ka haar mila...