I tried to hide from myself, I tried to forget. But you were everywhere - in my dreams, in my day-dreams & everywhere I turned. You came to me when I was feeling sad, in my dreams, gave me hugs & vanished softly into the night. I fully understand & sympathise with the decision you've made. But you're a big girl now, you should stand on your own feet. After marriage, you will entirely be on your own, the way you are now I feel sad. I loved the strong, talkative & shrewd Kiran, not the complacent cow they have made of you now. It is not impossible to go away from this jail. People have jumped into the stormy seas at night, knowing that land is thousands of kms away for freedom & your condition is not that bad. I'm not brainwashing you, I'm only asking you to think for yourself. Do you want to become like your mother ?, sitting idly at home ?, wasting time or do you want to see the world through OUR eyes ?. Good or evil is just a relative thing. If you feel that what you're doing is right, then you should go ahead & do it..like your father has done..
Just as he has done, what he thought was right, you also have the freedom to do the same thing. Putting myself in his condition, I can justify his decision, but I don't bend to his will. I do what I feel is right. I remember what he said to me: "You should cry for forgiveness, knowing that what you've done is wrong...", then I told him straight: "Whatever I've done, I did after thinking a lot, in fact I've never done anything in my life without thinking about all its consequences & I don't feel that what I've done is wrong..". I am not afraid of your Dad, I'm only afraid that you're unhappy & sad & that makes me miserable, sad & frustrated... In fact, thinking that you're sad & alone is the only thing which bothers me. I was sad that you don't talk to me, but I'm happy also, when I heard your happy voice talking to me. My being sad doesn't count - your happiness is the only thing which counts for me now...
I don't understand one thing & I can't come to terms with the feeling that, why don't you say something when I talk to you ?. Are you so sunk in your misery & feeling of hopelessness that you don't want to listen to me ?. Or are you under the impression that I'll mess up things again ?. I only appeal to the you, I'm sure that given a free hand & choice, you'd run to me. What I'm trying to tell you is that the chains exist only in your mind. Do you know that after 18 yrs of age a girl is free to go with any guy she likes of her own free will ?. I'm sure that someday you'll return & we'll have that home of ours - remember tha cartoon of the house we saw that day ?. I'm sure that you'll go inside yourself & ask yourself. If god was not on OUR side, he would never have helped us so many times. Remember the time when you didn't want to talk to me, but at some point of time you felt like calling me..?, that day I had prayed to God fervently...
Don't blindly believe what your "Uncle" says. You want to know what happens after death ?, read the book "Life after Life", by a famous doctor, who has documented, experiences of persons who had nearly died. They were ranging from a period of 15 minutes to several hours, clinically classified as dead, because their hearts stopped, their brain waves stopped & the brain was deprived of oxygen for more than 10 minutes - which causes irreparable damage to their brain cells. But all of them survived & came back from death, telling about their wonderful experiences, of seeing themselves, floating above their bodies, they could even describe what their relatives were doing outside the Operation Theatre, when they had officially been declared as "dead". All of them - children, people from several continents had a memory of going through a dark tunnel, meeting a bright light at the end & talking to God - who told them that their time hadn't come yet. All of them told that God, does not care for your relegion or anything - he cares only for love. Nothing but love.
All of them experienced what went through other people's heart when they said or did something painful. Remember, most of them were christians - so if you marry me, we are not going to hell, but I promise you, the person who caused US so much pain & suffering will surely go to hell !. No God, has told that you shouldn't love another person, don't hate. Your people tell you to hate me, I tell you to love EVERYBODY, tell me yourself, on which side is God on ?. God is always on the side of love. Everything you see around is living, yes even that rock might have feelings for all we know. It's the devil who tells you to hate people....Who's the devil then ?...You decide for yourself. Don't blindly believe anything - I don't. If your father tells you something, it need not always be right. Realise that atleast now, before it is too late !. Once you commit yourself, three people are punished - Me, you, & the innocent guy who married you (for no fault of his !). We are never apart. Even if you are trapped inside the deepest dungeon, hope should not be lost, because love is greater than everything.
You know very well, how much I love you. Tell me something, if you are adamant in saying that you love me & nothing can change it, who can force you ?. They blackmailed you into doing what you have done. I haven't done anything wrong...If you remember, I lost control that day only because you cried over the phone & I felt that the whole world was burning...I felt so sad, I could die....I'm sorry, I know why you broke down. The bhoj was too much for you. But, why do you give up so soon ?. Why lose heart/hope ?. I can never forget you & WE both know who loves who more...If I miss you this much, I know you must be missing me like anything. If I'm feeling hurt, I know you must be feeling as if you are walking on hot coals, when you refuse to talk to me.
I admit, I did not admit I love you to your Father. The only reason, being: 1. He would never accept our relationship - There would have been no use. 2. I didn't have a job then. If they threw you out, I would almost be helpless. 3. You let go by that time, there would not have been any use of me admitting to anything. But today, that's not the case, I have a job, I can look after you well. I can fight anything & everything for you - But you are not on OUR side, now when we can really do something. The coming few months are very decisive, for US, because if you are immovable, I'll go on to the U.S, maybe I'll settle there somewhere - never to return. Maybe I'll resign & do my M.S, a loss of 2 years for US, by that time they'll marry you off & I wouldn't be able to do anything about it....If you agree, I'll make a lot of money, come back, take you away from all this rubbish...
I'm not that bad a guy. Once we get married, your parents will understand there's no use of continuing these issues, they'll come back to you. Your brother already has no problems, your Mother had accepted our relationship long back (even if she was cribbing). Even your Dad was pretty decent about it at a point of time. Your neighbours, your friends, the traitor's daughters, everybody - My sister, My mother, everybody had accepted our relationship at a point of time. If only, if only you had been a bit more firm on that decisive day, " hume aaj ye din dekhna nahi padtha". If you had insisted on my presence the day you were blackmailed, Ma kasam mein kehta hun, ye sab kuch kabhi nahi hota...I would have managed.
You know something ?, your father never told me "Don't see her again", he told me "She has told me everything & she doesn't want to see you again", he was using you against me - He took that advantage - I don't know anything, but she doesn't want this - We are more important to her than you - you can go to hell. He took full advantage of your position. I suggest, you think about all the things I've told you here & decide after long thought. I don't think it's possible for you to accept anyone else as your husband, as I can't accept anyone else as my Wife. Kiran, kiran dear I'm alive today only because of my hope. Everybody, all my friends know, I write my songs for you. If I get selected for the finals of MTV Video Ga-Ga, I'll dedicate my song for you. OUR song is a big hit here.
I'm happy to tell you that the song I wrote for you, has already started working wonders !. One of my friends who had separated from his girl friend for 2 years got her back after he sent her the words of the song I wrote for you, " Dil Mein Kabhi Kabhi". Hope is what you need Kiran, hope....Tell me how I can prove my undying love to you. Do you want me dead, send me the poison, I'll die for you....I like death, it seems that it's the only way, I'll be able to be with you everytime...
I want US to be happy, I want US to do the things WE always wanted, I want US to have those babies you always wanted. I want US to be very happy, & live a long, long life with our grandchildren & their children. I want US to be one is spirit & soul, not you and me....
Always yours,
- Vijay
Contact me
Mar bhi jaaye,
Pyar waale,
Zinda rahti hai,
Unki Mohabbatein...
Mit bhi jaaye,
Pyar waale,
Zinda rahti hai,
Unki Mohabbatein...
As we had promised,
The first one to die,
Will fly to the other,
To be with him,
Even death,
Can't do us apart
Till my last breath is done,
Till the last teardrop has gone,
I'll continue to wait,
Hope against hope,
That's you'll be back...
- Kiran
> Original Music Score By:
> - Vijay
You were all I had
In my life
You were all the feeling
You were the one
who gave me
All my joy
You were all the meaning
Now, here I'm all alone
Across, the street
Around, the corner
I search......
But you aren't there
You were the light
In my life
You were the meaning
You were the lines
In my heart
You were all
Its feeling
Now, here, I'm all alone
- Vijay for his Kiran
Original Music Score By:
> - Vijay
When love has gone
Will the stars really shine ?
When my tears have gone
Will my eyes ever smile ?
When life has gone
Will my dreams come true ?
When you have gone
I'll be longing for you...
Look into my eyes
Can you feel the hurt in them tonight ?
Move aside my teardrops
Can you feel the pain in them tonight ?
Can you sense the emptiness in me ?
But I'll love you forever...
And be yours forever...
And I'll remember...
But where have you gone ?
Love..
Where have you gone ?
When you have gone
Who will be there for me ?
To hold my arms
And to share my dreams ?
Facing all the gloom
Can you feel the misery in me ?
Groping in the dark
Can you feel the loneliness in me ?
Can you see the ache in my heart ?
But I'll love you forever...
And be yours forever...
And I'll remember...
But where have you gone ?
Love...
Where have you gone ?
