"Were those excruciating adverbial puns known as Tom Swifties invented by the author of Gulliver's Travels?" asks Tom swiftly.

"No, they were originated by Edward Stratemeyer in a series of strip cartoons about a character called Tom Swift. That was in the USA in the 1920s" Ed states decadently.

A "I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.
"I'm concerned about the number of people not attending," said Tom absent-mindedly.
"Who would want to steal modern art?" asked Tom abstractedly.
"Now I can chop down that tree," said Tom with a heavy accent.
"Let's all play an A, a C sharp, and an E," cried Tom's band with one accord.
"I gave the donkey some vinegar," said Tom acidly.
"There's room for one more," Tom admitted.
"They are not answering - we'd better try the knocker," said Tom adoringly.
"I'll eat till I burst," Tom agreed.
"Fire!" yelled Tom alarmingly.
"I'm halfway up a mountain," Tom alleged.
"There's no need for silence," Tom allowed.
"It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply.
"These are the propulsion systems used by NASA for the moonshots," said Tom apologetically.
"This is a delicious Golden Delicious," said Tom applaudingly.
"My investments are worth more every day," said Tom appreciatively.
"I'll take that," said Tom appropriately
"2 bdrm furn w c/h," said Tom aptly.
"We can't have this and eat it too," said Tom archaically.
"It's between my sole and my heel," said Tom archly.
"You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.
"The cheque is in the post," Tom assented.
"I decide which car to purchase after looking at the pictures," said Tom autobiographically.

B

"This boat is leaking," said Tom balefully.
"Short back and sides?" asked Tom barbarously.
"Wow!" barked Tom, with a bow.
"Dorothy, if you're going to Oz again, I'm going with you," Em barked.
"I'm now going to play the Brandenberg Concertos,"
Tom barked. "I've been listening to the Tales of Hoffmann," Tom often barked.
"I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.
"I wonder why the hive's still empty," said Tom belatedly.
"I have to keep this fire alight," Tom bellowed.
"I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.
"" said Tom blankly.
"I'm a Soviet agent," said Tom bluntly.
"This wind is awful," blustered Tom.
"That was a googly," said Tom boldly.
"Which of you is the managing director?" Tom asked, bored
"I still haven't struck oil," said Tom boringly.
"This is mutiny!" said Tom bountifully.
"I'm the presenter of the South Bank Show," Melvyn bragged.
"I fought with Geronimo," said Tom bravely.
"Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.
"Carmen is my favourite opera," said Tom busily.

C

"Yes, I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly.
"I've been to a film festival in the South of France," said Tom cannily.
"There's nothing to stop me putting things in tins," said Tom cannily.
"It's a bloody lion," said Tom categorically.
"Would you like some soda in your whiskey?" asked Tom caustically.
"Admittedly it is important to learn the alphabet," Abie ceded.
"I love the novels of D. H. Lawrence," said Tom chattily.
"I was completely exonerated," said Tom clearly.
"Skool is grate," said Tom comprehensively.
"Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration.
"The prisoner escaped down a rope," said Tom condescendingly.
"I organised that big party for the prisoners," Tom confessed.
"I'm mentioned in this book," said Tom contentedly.
"Europe needs more self-restraint," said Tom continently.
"We've taken over the government," the general cooed.
"I'd like to be a Chinese labourer," said Tom coolly.
"Those cobs are amazing!" said Tom cornily.
"We steal things together," Tom corroborated.
"Why is this telephone flex always tangled?" asked Tom coyly.
"Give me some pre-packed cheese slices," said Tom craftily.
"I admire East End gangsters," said Tom crazily.
"I dropped the toothpaste," signalled Tom, crestfallen.
"I'm dying," Tom croaked.
"Your embroidery is terrible," Mary needled, cruelly.
"The situation is grave," Tom said cryptically.

D

"It's not fair!" said Tom darkly.
"A Greek woodland deity is no more," Tom said with a deadpan expression.
"I've had these Beardsley prints for ten years," said Tom decadently,
"I won't play for this team any longer, " Tom decided.
"This country will no longer have an official religion," King Tom decreed.
"It's time to play my wild card," Tom deduced.
"I prefer unlined gloves," Tom deferred.
"I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly.
"It's suddenly gone dark," said Tom delightedly.
When butchers meet, Tom always delivers a speech - but he hams it up, it has been revealed.
"Have I been emasculated?" Tom demanded.
"We've just brought gold and frankincense," the Magi demurred.
"Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.
"For you I'd even be disenfranchised," said Tom devotedly.
"My word is final!" Tom dictated to his secretary.
"My marriage is over," said Prince Charles directly.
"I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.
"I want this statue to look like the Venus de Milo," said Tom disarmingly.
"I like listening to records at night," said Tom disconsolately.
"Out, out, damned spot!" said Lady Macbeth disdainfully.
"That certainly took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.
"Dat's de end of April," said Tom in dismay.
"Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles," said Tom divertingly.
"I'm on social security," said Tom dolefully.
"It's made the grass wet," said Tom after due consideration.
"Here's someone who can't speak!" exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.

E

"The radio reception is much better now," said Tom ecstatically.
"Emily has put on weight," said Tom emphatically.
"I had no luck at all at the races," Tom endorsed.
"Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.
"I get in through the window after opening it with this crowbar," said Tom enterprisingly.
"Time flies," said Tom entomochronometrically.
"What a charming doorway!" said Tom, entranced.
"Eureka!" said Tom to Archimedes.
"I think you ought to take a bath." "I wouldn't marry you if you were the only woman on earth," said Tom evenly
"I've changed my name to Al," said Hal, exasperated.
"I have no underwear," Tom said expansively.
"My former wife is cute," said Tom expertly.
"I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained.
"I don't want you delivering my mail any more - it never arrives on time," Tom expostulated.
"Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.
"I used to command a battalion of German ants," said Tom exuberantly.

F

"I'm trying to get some air circulating under the roof," said Tom fanatically.
"That's OK!" said Tom finally.
"This is the Netherlands," Tom stated flatly.
"This steam-roller really works," said Tom flatteringly.
"I'm falling into a void," said Tom flawlessly.
"I've joined the navy," Tom said fleetingly.
"Watch this insect sail through the air," said Tom flippantly.
"I'm about to hit the golf ball," Tom forewarned.
"I won't finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.
"Ignore the first three turnings," said Tom forthrightly.
"I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I've only ten left," said Tom with fortitude.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
"I didn't see that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.

G

"Mmmmmm mmmmmmm," Tom gagged.
"That young insect is female," said Tom gallantly.
"This house is in good taste!" said Hansel and Gretel gingerly.
"Look at those tall flowers," said Tom gladly.
"I was absolutely vitrified," said Tom with a glazed look.
"This food tastes of plutonium," said Tom glowingly.
"For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful," said Tom gracefully
"My wife is dead" said Prince Rainier gracelessly.
"Would anyone like some Parmesan?" asked Tom gratingly.
"My shins are well protected," Tom grieved.
"Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess," said Tom grimly.
"I don't like the sand which is in the sanwiches, said Tom grittily.
"It's become much bigger," said Tom with a groan.
"This game is foul," Tom groused.
"I'm three feet taller than I was yesterday," said Tom gruesomely, up the yard.
"You must be my host" Tom guessed.
"I don't have a boyfriend," said Mary guilelessly.
"It's just gold leaf," said Tom guiltily.
"I like Germany," was Tom's gut reaction.

H

"I've still got two fingers left," said Tom handsomely.
"Don't you like the colour of my eyes?" asked Esther hazily.
"I only have diamonds, clubs and spades," said Tom heartlessly.
"Dinna wave that axe aboot, Jimmy!" said Tom heedlessly.
"It's my maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.
"I climbed Mount Everest," said Tom hilariously.
"My extreme emotional instability arises from a psychoneurosis," hissed Eric.
"Nay!" said Tom hoarsely.
"I have to keep these eggs warm," Tom chirped honestly.
"Have a ride in my new ambulance," said Tom hospitably.
"The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm," said Tom humourlessly.
"I cut off the bottoms of my levis so they wouldn't drag in the mud," said Tom hygienically.
"That hippopotamus is faulty!" said Tom hypocritically.

I

"I see," said Tom icily.
"This is a sick bird of prey," said Tom illegally.
"This bird has no beak," said Tom impeccably.
"I brush my teeth ten times a day," said Tom implacably.
"I was never a naughty child," Tom implied.
"I want you in the navy," said Tom impressively.
"I'm burning aromatic substances," said Tom, incensed.
"He's a boring chap," said Tom indulgently. "May I become a chorister?" Tom inquired.
"Don't let me drown in Paris!" pleaded Tom insanely.
"I'm not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting," Michelangelo insisted.
"I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.
"I'm drowning near the Isle of Wight," said Tom insolently.
"I like being under canvas," said Tom intently.
"This is my assessment," said Tom irately.
"It's my personal magnetism," said Tom ironically.

J

"I'd like chicken soup with matzo balls and gefilte fish," said Tom judiciously.

K

"My parents are called Billy and Nanny," Tom kidded.
"I've run out of wool," said Tom, knitting his brow.
"I deny everything," said Tom knowingly.

L

"I have no recollection of the last twenty-four hours," said Tom lackadaisically.
"No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas," said Tom laconically.
"I never play any music by Hungarian composers," said Tom listlessly.
"I always pray to St. Ignatius," said Tom loyally.
"I chop down trees for a living," said Tom lumberingly.

M

"I'm Scottish," said Tom macabrely.
"I'm just going to put these handcuffs on you," said Tom manically.
"It's only average," said Tom meanly.
"According to this sonograph, the average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz," said Tom in measured tones
"I've got to fix the car," said Tom mechanically.
"A million thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.
"We in the Conservative Party believe in having a good time," said Tom meritoriously.
"Perhaps I will," said Tom with all his might.
"It's hard work arresting that girl!" said Tom, labouring under a misapprehension.
"Do you call this a West End show?" asked Les miserably.
"The girl's been kidnapped," said Tom mistakenly.
"I'm tired of smiling," moaned Lisa.
"I want a motorised bicycle," Tom moped.
"The sun is rising," Tom mourned.
"Mama is German," Tom muttered.
"I didn't mean to have my cheek pierced," said Tom mysteriously.

N

Naughtily, Tom said nothing.
"I haven't developed my photographs yet," said Tom negatively.
"This decay wasn't there before," said Tom neurotically.
"That just doesn't add up," said Tom, nonplussed.
"What's the value of a dollar bill?" asked Tom noteworthily.

O

"What's a wide-angle lens?" asked Tom obtusely.
"That horse looks like a good bet at 17 to 1," said Tom oddly.
"Do you buy and sell stolen goods?" asked Tom offensively.
"My wrists are bleeding stumps!" said Tom offhandedly.
"I prefer cod to haddock," Tom said officiously.
"It's half a score," Tom said often.
"My bicycle wheel is damaged," said Tom outspokenly.
"I have had too many children," said Mary overbearingly.

P

"I had an accident in the kitchen," said Tom with panache.
"I've joined the Airborne Medical Corps," said Tom paradoxically.
"Ici nous voyons le tour Eiffel!" Tom parried.
"I've deduced that this is the right way," said Tom pathologically.
"I shall have to see the doctor," said Tom patiently.
"I can do an excellent impression of Sinatra," said Tom, being perfectly frank.
"Has my magazine arrived?" Tom asked periodically.
"I need to clear my throat," said Tom phlegmatically.
"3.142" Tom enumerated piously.
"Who's your favourite operatic tenor?" Tom asked placidly.
"I've removed all the feathers from this chicken," said Tom pluckily.
"Where shall I plant these water-lilies?" Tom pondered.
"I haven't had any tooth decay yet," said Tom precariously.
"I'm here - with a gift!" said Tom presently.
"I'm just an ordinary soldier," Tom admitted privately.
"I teach at a university," Tom professed.
"I know where Jack Nicklaus is," said Tom profoundly.
"I'm in favour of mechanisation," said the promoter.
"I've dyed my hair green and stuck a pin through my nose," said Tom punctually.
"The cat seems happy," said Tom on purpose.

Q

"Are you homosexual?" Tom queried gaily.
"This is where I keep my arrows," said Tom, quivering.
"This is the fastest way to get drunk," said Tom quixotically.

R

"What are these berries?" Tom rasped.
"I'm embarrassed," Tom admitted readily.
"I can see naturally," Tom realised.
"There it is again!" Tom recited.
"I've never had an accident," said Tom recklessly.
"""Said Tom recursively,"said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively" said Tom recursively.
"Nice looking glass!" said Tom reflectively.
"It's time for the second funeral," Tom rehearsed.
"I've gone back to my wife," was Tom's rejoinder.
"Superglue!" Tom rejoined.
"We did it twice last night," she relayed.
"OK, you can borrow it again," Tom relented.
"I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.
"I've transferred my money back into my German savings account," Tom remarked with interest.
"I've passed the exam this time," Tom remarked.
"That is remarkable," remarked Tom.
"I've paid my annual subscription," Tom remembered.
"I've gone back to using my maiden name", said Mary remissly.
"I'd better repeat that SOS message," said Tom remorsefully.
"My garden needs another layer of mulch," Tom repeated.
"I'm taking this ship back into harbour," Tom reported.
"Must I show again why this is true?" asked Tom reprovingly.
"I suppose I'll have to write my name again." said Tom resignedly.
"It's a piece of laboratory equipment," Tom retorted.
"My oar is broken," said Tom robustly.
"Balls!" Tom said roundly.
"I can't eat any more of this bitter herb," said Tom ruefully.
"I've an urgent appointment," said Tom in Russian.

S

"Get stuffed!" said Tom sagely. "Bring me a large helping of vanilla with chocolate sauce," I screamed "So only one person arrived at the party before I did?" Tom second-guessed. "I'll use my stopwatch to see how fast it moves," said Tom, seconding the motion. "I won't tell you anything about my salivary glands," said Tom secretively. "Would you like to buy an alarm?" asked Tom self-righteously. "Would you like to buy some cod?" asked Tom selfishly. "You lamb!" said Tom sheepishly. "Ought I to do this?" asked Tom with a shudder. "I'm going to end it all," Sue sighed. "This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn," said Tom slowly. "What are you taking taking pictures of?" Tom snapped. "I'll do your conveyancing, but I'll be slow and overcharge you," said Tom solicitously. "The optician probably doesn't have my glasses ready yet," Tom speculated. "You don't see the point, do you?" asked Tom, making a stab in the dark. "Hey, you're standing on my foot!" said Tom standoffishly. "What's this black stain round my mouth?" asked Tom succinctly. "Yes, I have read Gulliver's Travels," said Tom swiftly.

T

"Please don't sneeze with your mouth full, said Tom to the carpet-layer tactfully. "I work at a bank," said Tom tellingly. "My bid for this contract aims to please," said Tom tenderly. "I have no idea," said Tom thoughtlessly. "Parsley, sage, rosemary," said Tom timelessly. "You shouldn't be writing elegies, young lady," the curfew told Nell. "I'm going to fix the roof," Tom translated. "I was adopted," said Tom transparently. "I punched him in the stomach three times," said Tom triumphantly.

U

"The bank doesn't want me as a customer," said Tom unaccountably. "I don't know any shanties," said Tom unceasingly. "I'm not sure about Heisenberg," said Tom uncertainly. "I flatly deny this," said Tom under pressure. "I won't stand for painting," said Tom uneasily. "How long will I have to wait for a table?" asked Tom unreservedly. "Your trousers have come apart!" was Tom's unseemly comment, which had us all in stitches. "I want to date other women," said Tom unsteadily. "Henry the Eighth!" said Tom unthinkingly. "I'm going to be intestate," said Tom unwillingly. "I was given a shampoo and trim by a Pakistani in Liverpool," said Tom in Urdu.

V

"So that's the way the wind blows," said Tom vainly. "This is a picture of my new house," said Tom, visibly moved.

W

"I've caught Moby Dick!" Tom wailed. "I'm single," Tom said wanly. "I'd like some Chinese food," said Tom wantonly. "Do you know the location?" asked Tom warily. "I need to go on a diet," said Tom wastefully. "I'm always exhausted by Friday," said Tom weakly. "I'm not a real man," Tom whimpered. "I wish I'd said that, Oscar," said Tom wildly. "I've read all Shakespeare's works," said Tom wilfully. "Some you lose," said Tom winsomely. "They have their reasons" said Tom wisely. "This is what I have learned off by heart" Tom wrote. "I'm Irish," said Tom wryly.

Z

"I'd like to be a shopkeeper in Somerset," said Tom zealously. "I can't eat any more lemon peel," said Tom zestfully. "Your fly is undone," was Tom's zippy rejoinder.