Casefile #3: Val T. Rex

Real Last Name: Cyclovis
Real First Name: Vala
Real Middle Initial: R.
Real Alias: "Semen Spewer"
Real DOB: 3-15-79
Real SOB: Somewhere in New England
Real Profession: Caricature
Real Favorite Color: Green

s p a c e

Faux Last Name: Rex
Faux First Name: Val
Faux Middle Initial: T.
Faux Alias: "Semen Spewer"
Faux DOB: 12-18-32
Faux SOB: Connecticut
Faux Profession: Slapstick Entertainer
Faux Favorite Color: Black

Here we see Val Rex in a new town as he prepares for his first day in his new and promising career as a professional flasher. Despite his "sketchy" past, he now leads a stable yet exciting life flashing young girls after he has hypnotized them with his enchanting eyes. Since Val was forced by his psychiatrist into becoming a lifetime member, we provided a free week of R & R at the Dundee Lodge (famous for their daily brainwashing information sessions). Can't you just see how much this once modest mouse of a man is now enjoying the coarse inner lining of his trenchcoat (which works to conceal his offending member almost as efficiently as our rezoning volunteers work to conceal your offending past!).

ACTUAL TESTIMONY:
"[Cough, cough] whassup yo, don't playa hate, but I was in a state of denial, yo, concerning my most recent and most severe outbreak of genital herpes (herpes simplex two), but, now, thanks to 'Sara Tonen's [cough] Phat Rezoning Program,' I have been relocated into a state of [wheeze, cough] ... [cough] suicidal depression. Oh, and I think I may be, or at least was at one point, gay...[cough]...yo."

relocate my rotting corpse back to the rezoning program.

complaints shouldnt be sent to (but should be expected from): badheadache@hotmail.com

@hhhhht