1. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
   
   
2. There can be a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
   
   
3. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
   
   
4. You should never confuse your career with your life.
   
   
5. No matter what happens in life, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
   
   
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
   
   
7. Never lick a steak knife.
   
   
8. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
   
   
9. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
   
   
10. Nobody can give me a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time (especially in Alaska).
    
    
11. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.
    
    
12. Your friends love you, no matter what.

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