This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to
Ken by simply adding or removing snap-on parts.
Walks to work.
Likes to "experiment", but will never commit.
This model is being phased-out and is only available directly
from the manufacturer.
Girdwood Barbie
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has
long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy legs and armpits,
no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks.
She does not want or need a Ken doll, but comes with 2 large
male dogs.
Purchase the optional Subaru wagon, and you will also receive
a free rainbow flag sticker and a choice of a blue or green
plastic tarp.
Available at REI.
Government Hill Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2
sizes too small, a classic Metallica t-shirt and a Tweety Bird
tattoo on her shoulder.
She has a six-pack of Budweiser and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD
set.
She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired
Ken's ass when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate
flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Boyfriend Ken is in treatment.
Available at Army Navy Surplus Stores.
Hillside Barbie
This Barbie comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags.
Accessories include your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer
H2, a long-haired foreign lapdog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter
dream house with a to-die-for view of the inlet.
Also included are a Starbucks mug, credit card set, and
Alaska Airlines Gold MPV membership.
Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and
boob-job.
Workaholic, shallow, cheating husband Ken comes with a
Porsche.
This princess Barbie is sold exclusively at Nordstrom.
Mountain View Barbie
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and
bus pass.
Also included is a G.E.D. Application and a completely filled
out PFD form.
Home boy - Gangsta Ken and his '82 Caddy are
optional.
Available at Value Village.
Muldoon Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair
of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Government Hill Barbie's
apartment.
Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake
fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter
top.
Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer.
Available at Wal-Mart.
Southside Barbie
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Ford
Expedition and matching Alaska Club workout ensemble. She gets
lost easily and has no full time occupation.
Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox.
Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.
Husband Ken is into fishing, hunting, golfing, eating, and
lusting for other women.
Available at Costco.
Spenard Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun,
switchblade knife, 1978 Chevrolet El Camino with dark tinted
windows, and a meth lab kit.
This model is available only after dark and can only be
purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a
cop, then we don't know what you're talking about.