OFFICE DARES
(Seems like a good Jim Carrey routine)

• One Point Office Dares:

  1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

  2. Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other "non-player" must be in the bathroom at the time).

  3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

  4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

  5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

  6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"

  7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way."

  8. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

  9. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

• • • Three Point Office Dares

  1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

  2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."

  3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

  4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

  5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

• • • • • Five Point Office Dares

  1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

  2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on / off 10 times.

  3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

  4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."

  5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon." Keep this up for one hour.

  6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

  7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

  8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

  9. In a colleagues day-planner, write in 10:00 A.M. - "See how I look in tights."

  10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

  11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

  12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why say, "I can't talk about it. If I told you, then I'd have to kill you."

  13. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

  14. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.


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