Hi, my name is Doc, and I'm a recovering forwarder.

Would everyone please put your hand on your monitor and repeat these words with me:

1. I will not get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I don't forward an E-mail!
   
   
2. I will not hear any music or see a taco dog, if I do forward an E-mail.
   
   
3. Bill Gates isn't going to send me money, and Victoria's Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me.
   
   
4. Ford won't give me a 50% discount even if I forward my E-mail to more than 50 people!
   
   
5. I will never receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca-Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, OutBack SteakHouse or anyone else, if I send an E-mail to 10 people.
   
   
6. I will never see a pop-up window if I forward an E-mail. Never, ever!!
   
   
7. There's no such thing as an E-mail tracking program, and I am not gullible enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an E-mail to 10 or more people!
   
   
8. There's no kid with cancer through the Make a Wish Foundation in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 or 8 years old. He's now cancer free and 35 years old and doesn't want any more post-cards or get well cards!!!
   
   
9. The government doesn't have a bill in Congress called 601B (or whatever you say they named it this week) that if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every E-mail we send.
   
   
10. There will be no cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an E-mail. None, zip, zero, zilch, nada!!
    
    
11. The Red Cross won't donate 50¢ to a certain individual dying of some never-heard-of disease for every E-mail address I send this to. The Red Cross RECEIVES donations.
    
    
12. And finally, I will not let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I'm not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on! And my friends already know that I love them  -  whether or not I respond to or fforward an E-mail.

NOTE:
Repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends (their address goes in the box)        before the next full moon or you'll be constipated for the next three months.

RELATED LINKS:

The Truth About Junk E-mail

Ten Things That Piss Me Off!