1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
   
   
   • Lovemaking
     
     
   • Screwing
     
     
   • The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
   
   
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
   
   
   • Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
     
     
   • Your blood-test results
     
     
   • Five tequila slammers
   
   
3. You time your orgasm so that:
   
   
   • Your partner climaxes first
     
     
   • You both climax simultaneously
     
     
   • You don't miss Sportscenter
   
   
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
   
   
   • Healthy, creative love-play
     
     
   • Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
     
     
   • Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
   
   
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
   
   
   • The best part of the experience
     
     
   • The second best part of the experience
     
     
   • $100.00 extra
   
   
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
   
   
   • No concern of yours
     
     
   • Not a problem, she can join your gym
     
     
   • A conservative estimate
   
   
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
   
   
   • A myth
     
     
   • An oxymoron
     
     
   • A moron
   
   
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
   
   
   • Appetizer is to entree
     
     
   • Primer is to paint
     
     
   • A line is to an amusement park ride
   
   
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
   
   
   • "I hope we can still be friends,"
     
     
   • "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep,"
     
     
   • "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, Y-O-U."
   
   
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    
    
    • Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
      
      
    • Is uptight and a waste of time
      
      
    • Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.

If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.

If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU-DA-MAN!"

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