Phrases You Wish You Could Say At Work
 
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  1. Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

  2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

  3. How about never? Is never good for you?

  4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

  5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

  6. I'll try being nicer, if you'll try being smarter.

  7. I don't work here, I'm a consultant.

  8. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

  9. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

  10. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

  11. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

  12. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

  13. Thank you so much. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

  14. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean that you're an artist.

  15. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

  16. I'm not being rude. You're just that insignificant.
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