To let everyone know, it was not me who came up with this genious idea... but I thought it was funny when someone e-mailed it to me, so I lined everything up and put it on this page for everyone to enjoy. Tell your friends to check this page out!!

Registration Card

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires. 


     1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_]General
        [_]Comrade [_] Classified [_] Presidente [_] Other

      First Name:.........................................
      Initial: ........
      LastName:...........................................
      Password:.............................. (max 8 char)
      Code Name:..........................................
      Latitude-Longitude-ltitude:........-.......-........

     2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

                 [_] F-14 Tomcat
                 [_] F-15 Eagle
                 [_] F-16 Falcon
                 [_] F-117A Stealth
                 [_] Classified

     3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ......./....../......

     4. Serial number:.....................................

     5. Please check where this product was purchased:

                 [_] Received as gift / aid package
                 [_] Catalog showroom
                 [_] Independent arms broker
                 [_] Mail order
                 [_] Discount store
                 [_] Government surplus
                 [_] Classified

     6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell 
Douglas product you have just purchased:

                 [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
                 [_] Store display
                 [_] Espionage
                 [_] Recommended by friend / relative / all
                 [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
                 [_] Was attacked by one

     7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced 
your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

                 [_] Style / appearance
                 [_] Speed / maneuverability
                 [_] Price / value
                 [_] Comfort / convenience
                 [_] Kickback / bribe
                 [_] Recommended by salesperson
                 [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
                 [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
                 [_] Backroom politics
                 [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

    8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

                 [_] North America
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Central / South America
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Aircraft carrier
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Europe
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Africa
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Asia / Far East
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Misc. Third World countries
                 [_] Iraq
                 [_] Classified
                 [_] Iraq

    9. Please check the products that you currently own or 
intend to purchase in the near future:

                 [_] Color TV
                 [_] VCR
                 [_] ICBM
                 [_] Killer Satellite
                 [_] CD Player
                 [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
                 [_] Space Shuttle
                 [_] Home Computer
                 [_] Nuclear Weapon

   10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? 
(Check all that apply:)

                 [_] Communist / Socialist
                 [_] Terrorist
                 [_] Crazed
                 [_] Neutral
                 [_] Democratic
                 [_] Dictatorship
                 [_] Corrupt
                 [_] Primitive / Tribal

   11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

                 [_] Deficit spending
                 [_] Cash
                 [_] Suitcases of cocaine
                 [_] Oil revenues
                 [_] Personal check
                 [_] Credit card
                 [_] Ransom money
                 [_] Traveler's check

   12. Your occupation:

                 [_] Homemaker
                 [_] Sales / marketing
                 [_] Revolutionary
                 [_] Clerical
                 [_] Mercenary
                 [_] Tyrant
                 [_] Middle management
                 [_] Eccentric billionaire
                 [_] Defense Minister / General
                 [_] Retired
                 [_] Student

    13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles,
please indicate the interests and activities in which 
you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

                 [_] Golf
                 [_] Boating / sailing
                 [_] Sabotage
                 [_] Running / jogging
                 [_] Propaganda / misinformation
                 [_] Destabilization / overthrow
                 [_] Default on loans
                 [_] Gardening
                 [_] Crafts
                 [_] Black market / smuggling
                 [_] Collectibles / collections
                 [_] Watching sports on TV
                 [_] Wines
                 [_] Interrogation / torture
                 [_] Household pets
                 [_] Crushing rebellions
                 [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
                 [_] Fashion clothing
                 [_] Border disputes
                 [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes! Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? 
  Please write to:

                         McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
                         Marketing Department
                         Military Aerospace Division
                         P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO

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