Here are some good bumper stickers:

1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
2. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
3. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
4. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
5 I intend to live forever - so far, so good
6. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
7. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
8. If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
9. Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
10. Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
11. Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of
12. Robin Hood was a terrorist
13. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it
14. Shake well before and after use
15. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
16. The light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash
17. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
18. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
19. People are more violently opposed to fur than to leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
20. "Honk if you have never seen an Uzi fired from a car window."
21. Keep honking, I'm reloading
22. I wanna be Barbie, that bitch has everything
23. I'm not spoiled, I just get everything I want
24. 99% angel, but ohhh that 1%
25. Hell ya I'm dunk, I ain't no stunt driver!
26. Cat, the other white meat
27. Get in, Sit down, Hold on, Shut up
28. Funny, you don't look that stupid!
29. Due to recent cut backs, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off
30. Age is a state of mind. Don't ask me what state I'm in
31. Somebody has to be the Princess
32. Daddy bought it, but look who got it!
33. My kid beat up your honor role student
34. My kid was inmate of the month
35. Friends don't let friends vote republican
36. Women belong in the House.... the Oval Office and the Senate
37. Earth first! We'll strip-mine the other planets later
38. Jesus is coming, everyone look busy
39. I'm driving this way to piss you off
40. Lottery: A tax on people that are bad at math
41. Hang up and drive
42. If at first you succeed, try not to look astonished
43. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie'... till you can find a rock
44. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill
45. Always remember your unique, just like everyone else
46. Few women admit thier age; fewer men act it
47. Hard work has future payoff, lazyness pays off now
48. Warning: Dates on Calenders are closer then they appear
49. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
50. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Check back later for more... I will post them in groups of 50, and I just have to type the rest. If you have any you think shoud make it in a future group, just e-me at bigsmartass@hotmail.com

Thank you