What do little ghosts drink?
Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
Because people are dying to get in.
When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before someone screams.
What should you say when you meet a ghost?
"How do you boo, sir. How do you boo."
What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?
Ghost toasties with booberries.
What's soft, moldy and flies?
A spoiled bat.
What did the policeman say when a black widow spider ran down his back?
"You're under a vest!"
What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train come?
He had to give it back.
Why did the monster salute his vegetable soup?
He looked in his bowl and saw a kernel of corn.
What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer.
What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I'd like to get to gnaw you.
Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime?
"Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares."
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights.
Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
In a blood bank.
How does a witch tell time?
She looks at her witch watch.
Where can you see a real ugly monster?
In the mirror.
When is it bad luck to see a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
Why did the monster eat the caboose?
The locomotive told him to "Choo, choo."
What's the best place for a mirror?
In a graveyard. It can double your mummy.
What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A holy terror.
Why do witches think they're funny?
Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up.
How do mummies hide?
They wear masking tape.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand witch.
Who has a broom and flies?
A jelly-covered janitor.
What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
Five after one.
Why don't skeletons like parties?
They have no body to dance with.
What did the bat say to the witch's hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
What if you crossed a rabbit with a wolf?
You'd get a harewolf.
What happens when a flying witch breaks the sound barrier?
You hear the broom boom.
What goes "Oob, oob!"
A witch in reverse.
How do you make a milkshake?
You sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell "Boo!"
What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
She flies off the handle.
Why do demons hang out with ghouls?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend.
Why did the other kids have to let the vampire play baseball?
It was his bat.
What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
Put your boos and shocks on.
Mother vampire to son:
Hurry up and eat your breakfast before it clots.
Mommy, Mommy, the kids all call me a werewolf.
Never mind, dear, now go and comb your face.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the other?
See you next month!
