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I haven't felt quite the same since the creators of Michelles, unquestionably the best teen drama on cable access, allowed me to sit in on one of their production meetings. We met on the set of The Ron Show, an exact replica of, if not Ron's actual, apartment. As they cackled and danced and repeatedly disappeared into the next room to check their e-mail, I couldn't help wishing that I was in on the joke. Whatever it may have been.

Michelle is Such a Pillowcase!

By Nigel Hart

I take it this show isn't like all the other teen dramas polluting the screen these days.

Shannon: We hope not. It's not our intention to make it much like anything, really. We call it a teen drama, but really it's an expression of several chosen philosophies, each more complicated than the last.

Sandy: We're hoping it becomes a religion.

Shannon: If you want to be literal about it, though, it's basically about two teenage girls and the way they react to a variety of situations.

And how do they react, exactly?

Shannon: Exactly? Well, their perceptions really come through in the acting. For instance, if I was playing Michelle right now and you asked me that question, I would look at you like this, and then you would know something that you didn't know before.

Sandy: Let's talk about obsession.

Shannon: The show is all about obsession.

Really? I mean I couldn't tell from the ideas you were coming up with. The only way I'd be able to describe the show is sort of a combination of Beavis and Butthead meets Heathers.

Shannon: Well, duh. We're blatantly referring to Heathers, every chance we get. And we watch TV a lot.

Sandy: We're going to try and get Christian Slater to make an appearance.

Shannon: Mmmm...Christian....

Sandy: He'll be glad for the "exposure".

Shannon: Is that accent real?

Er, yeah. I was told that you two weren't going to give any more interviews, but that you....

Shannon: We liked your accent.

Sandy: You have a deep voice.

Thanks. So, you mentioned obsession before.

Sandy: Right. It's like this. We both hated high school. We always assumed that someday we'd become adults and have glamorous, exciting lives. It was our collective birthright. Now we know that adulthood sucks in whole new ways that we'd never dreamed of. The thing is, it's fucking boring. You're supposed to be productive and responsible and not show any emotion. People are so afraid of emotion now, it's ridiculous. You say something simple like "I had a really good time tonight" and they're like "don't call me anymore."

Shannon: The thing is, we sort of romanticize the intensity if being a teenager. Not actually being a teenager, 'cause that was hell. But, you know, we've both been told that we'll mellow out as we get older. We find it annoying. Not only annoying, but frightening. I dread the day that I start becoming rational. Michelles lets us revel in irrationality.

Listening to some of your story ideas, I noticed that rationality isn't a factor. Like that part about the sperm crawling up Michelle's leg....

Shannon: Hey now, don't get too specific. We don't want to reveal too much. But yeah, we take a lot of liberties with reality. We ARE Michelle, yeah, but I never had the guts to stab somebody in the eye with a chopstick. I shouldn't have said that, either.

Sandy: Everybody wants to steal our ideas.

Shannon: Should we talk about the commercials?

Sandy: Our commercials are the best. This show has more layers than a mullet.

I'm not surprised. How come you two are so much more creative than everyone else?

Sandy: I can't think of anything but good ideas.

Shannon: We drink a lot.

Sandy: We drink a lot and smoke and hate and things just start coming together. We've worked on several projects together, and we keep getting smarter.

Shannon: Yeah, there was Liberation Tor....

Sandy: Make sure you spell that T-O-R, it's not "tour"...

Shannon: And then the whole unfinished Unfinished Art fandango. That was exhausting.

Sandy: Michelles is way better though.

Sandy/Shannon: It's TV!  Unicorn!

Uh....

Sandy: Sorry. Unicorns, it means when we say the same thing at the same time.

Shannon: It's from when we were doing a zine, and Sandy was listing all the things she wanted to draw in it, and we both said "unicorns" at the same time. What a piece of crap that was, huh?

Sandy: He doesn't care.

Yes, very amusing. Sandy, rumor has it that you're planning to move to England and get married.

Sandy: It's Wales, actually. I don't want to talk about it.

What's going to happen to Michelles when you go?

Sandy: I said, leave me alone.

Shannon: Michelles will probably die out. I wouldn't do the show with only one Michelle.

Sandy: Ooh, Michelle could die a grisly death in the last episode! "A Very Special Michelles." Most of the episodes are "special". And we're going to have some cross-over events, with the spin-offs.

That would indeed be tragic.

Shannon: Yeah, I'd have to start becoming a rock star. Or get a real job.

Sandy: Make sure you mention that this interview was dedicated to Stephen Merritt.

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