Kyle looked around, searching for the source of the unfamiliar voice. Quickly, he realized that he was back on the grounds of the Xavier Estate, where he'd briefly been a member of the Uncanny X-Men. It also didn't take him long to realize that the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning was under attack. Xavier's evil step-brother, Cain Marko, was better known to the public as the Unstoppable Juggernaut. The Juggernaut towered over Kyle, one massive fist raised menacingly. At Marko's side was "Black Tom" Cassidy, a mutant, and friend of the Juggernaut's. Black Tom gently patted the end of his shillelagh, which was brimming with Cassidy's mutant power.
"Looks like the X-Men have themselves a few newbies, eh Tom?" roared the Juggernaut.
"Aye, boyo," came the reply.
"Oh damn," said Kyle. It didn't seem to help.
"Uh, guys," Kyle added, "I think we're about to fight for our lives again."
"Looks that way," said Charles.
"Dibs on fighting Black Tom!" shouted Joe.
"Hey, that's not fair!" moaned Kyle. But then, the battle began.
"Well now, why would ye wanting to be fightin' with ol' Black Tom, then, laddie?" asked the mutant terrorist. As he spoke, he alternately shot energy blasts at Joe and dodged the return fire.
"I just love your goofy little accent," Joe said. Rather than dodging, he was getting the hang of activating his Wonder Glove's force field. "And don't call me 'laddie.'"
"'ey now, don't ye be spekking ill o' me accent, laddie," warned Black Tom.
"Faith and beggorah!" shouted Joe. "Ye're accent is magically delicious! And don't call me laddie!"
"And why na', laddie?"
Joe roared, and leapt.
Everyone knows it's true. "Nothing stops the Juggernaut," they say, and few people have the gall to ignore something so many people recognize as a fundamental truth. Nothing stops the Juggernaut. Kyle didn't even try. Instead, he turned, and ran screaming toward the mansion. It turns out that not much stops Kyle, either.
To his credit, Charles at least gave stopping the Juggernaut a shot. A few blasts of power here and there, mixed with a smattering of acrobatic tumbling, and Charles actually managed to keep the villain distracted without getting himself hurt. But stopping the Juggernaut? Oh, no. Nothing stops the Juggernaut.
A small red dot flickered on the horizon. It was coming closer. Fast. Storm watched as the red dot grew closer and closer to the X-Mansion. It was emitting a high-pitched wail. Within moments, Storm realized that shrieking, racing red dot was none other than No-Powers Boy, the X-Men's latest recruit. With a wave of her hand, Storm conjured a wind which swept herself, Wolverine, Colossus, and Marrow into the sky.
"Kurt!" she cried, "Take Kitty and go!" Nightcrawler pulled Shadowcat close to his body, and the two vanished in a puff of acrid smoke. "Rogue, Gambit, trace a line back along Kyle's apparent path!" Gambit practically leapt into Rogue's arms before the two X-Men shot off into the sky. By the time Kyle arrived on the mansion's porch, Storm was ready to pull him into the air. "Kyle," asked Storm, "Why have you come back to us in such an agitated state?"
"Juggernaut," panted Kyle. "Bad. Help."
"It was wise of you to come to us," Storm said, carrying herself and all four of her teammates gently on a cushion of air. "But foolish to encounter the Juggernaut in your normal human state. Activate your powers immediately."
"But-" Kyle began. Storm cut him off.
"Do not argue, Kyle," snapped Storm. "I will not tolerate your discomfort with your mutant powers any longer. Shrink, now."
"Fine!" shouted Kyle. He paused just long enough to remember that he wasn't a mutant.
"That is better," said Storm, smoothing over Kyle's bruised ego. "Prepare yourselves, everyone. We will be upon the Juggernaut in one moment."
Nightcrawler and Shadowcat and immediately split apart from one another to deal individually with the two pairs of combatants. Shadowcat wrapped a strong hand around Charles' shoulder, pulling him out of phase with the Juggernaut, allowing the mammoth man's hands to pass harmlessly through him.
At the same time, Nightcrawler wrapped his hands around Joe's shoulders, pulling the young man off of Black Tom Cassidy's shattered body. Even as he regained his composure, Joe continued to recite the lyrics he'd pounded into Black Tom's face, as though it were his mantra. "Don't call me laddie. Don't call me laddie. Don't call me laddie. Don't call me laddie. Don't-"
"Calm, now, young man. You are safe now. The X-Men are on their way. Just relax, and allow Professor Xavier to mentally link you to our group mind." Those words sobered Joe quickly. He realized at once that if Charles and Kyle were telepathically scanned, they would be revealed as non-mutants, expelled from the X-Men, and horribly disappointed. Even as Professor Xavier's mental being stretched toward the clearing, Joe blurted out- "I wonder what the Blob would look like naked?" No one wanted to picture it. But for a brief moment, they all had to.
Safe within his study, Professor Xavier suddenly screamed in agony. "Why?!?!" he shouted. "Merciful God in Heaven why!??!" He began to flail his arms about wildly, upsetting his wheelchair and dumping himself unceremoniously on the floor. Flexing muscles long-underused since his capture by the anti-mutant terrorist, Bastion, Professor Xavier dragged himself across the floor, to where a large, oaken bookcase dominated one wall. Slowly, hand-over-hand, Xavier pulled himself upright, using the shelves of the bookcase as rungs. Even as he did so, his mind reached once more out to his students. For a brief moment, Xavier feared that their thoughts would still be on that shudder horrible image. Shaking his head to rid it of those dirty thoughts, Xavier shifted his weight ever so slightly. The creaking of bending wood told Xavier what a mistake he had made.
"Oh damn," said Xavier, moments before he was crushed under the weight of a massive bookcase.
A massive pile-on ensued. With a shrug of his mammoth shoulders, the Juggernaut sent X-Men tumbling. Still, the heroes continued to press their attack, sending metal, bone, and energy at the brute's impenetrable skin.
Storm summoned another wind, lifting Charles up and into the Juggernaut's face. Negative Zone explosions blinded the villain momentarily as Wolverine and Marrow jimmied their weapons into his helmet.
"Fastball special, Kyle!" shouted Colossus, lifting his teammate one-handed.
"What?" said Kyle. "NO!!" He went sailing, like a rag doll, through the air. By some astounding coincidence, he managed to catch hold of the Juggernaut's helmet, popping it loose before he landed in a tangled heap on the ground.
"Now!" cried Rogue. "Hit him with a telepathic attack!" She looked to Gambit, whose eyes flashed to Storm, who was watching Marrow, who looked up at Wolverine as he looked over to Shadowcat, who looked to Nightcrawler, who shrugged and turned to Colossus, who looked down at Kyle, who glanced over to Charles, who faced Joe.
"Where's our telepath, Joe?" asked Charles, tapping a foot impatiently.
"Uh... oh damn?" said Joe.
The Juggernaut roared.
"Wait!" said Kyle. "I thought nothing stopped the Juggernaut."
"Nothing does stop me if I don't want it to, punk," boomed Cain Marko.
"But only if you don't want it to?" asked Charles. "What if we were stopping you right now, with our mutant powers?"
"And you only felt like you were free, and attacking us all, 'cause Kyle's an illusionist?" Joe chimed in. The X-Men looked at one another, trying to figure out what was going on.
"NOTHING stops me," the Juggernaut said again. "Once I put my mind to it, I can break through anything."
"Prove it," said Joe. The Juggernaut's brow furrowed in concentration.
The Juggernaut dropped, sinking like a stone through the earth, plowing a hole to the core of the planet itself behind him.
"I'm sure he'll stop before he goes too much farther," Joe said. "So I'd look out for him to come climbing out of your lawn in about a year-and-a-half." Joe glanced over to Gambit. The Cajun nodded, and the two heroes each lit a cigarette.
"Well, that was pretty easy," said Shadowcat.
"Yes, but it was not a victory we deserved," chided Storm. "Kyle, you forgot your powers entirely. Charles, your powers seemed to have remained practically stagnant since last we met. And you," continued Storm, gesturing at Joe. "Rely entirely too much on the use of these gadgets you carry
with you." One eyebrow arched skyward as Storm noticed the boots Joe wore. "Perhaps we were hasty to suggest that you were not welcome at this school. Surely, you will all need all the training you can get."
"Does this mean-" asked Kyle.
"Yes," said Storm. "As soon as the Professor awakens, we shall consult with him to get the final paperwork necessary. You three are to be admitted immediately into Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters." The Supercools cheered. Suddenly, Joe stopped short. He and Charles looked each other, the same question on each of their faces.