"I look like a dork!" yelled Charles. Sure enough, he looked like a dork.
"Not very comfortable, are they?" asked Kyle, tugging at his necktie.
"I hate to say it," added Joe, puffing on a cigarette, "But I think I'd rather be wearing the Supercools uniform."
"Nonsense," interjected Emma Frost, Headmistress of the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. "You all look quite sophisticated in your school uniforms."
"I can't wear a jacket," Joe insisted. "I already have a jacket. Where's my CESU?"
"Your what?" asked Emma.
"My little red ball."
"Oh, surely ye won't be needing that, now, will ye?" came a new voice. It was Sean Cassidy, the mutant known as the Banshee, and partner to Emma. "We're to be training ye in the use of yer abilities without the ball, remember, laddie? Now why don't ye put out that filthy thing and come meet yer classmates?"
"Look," said Joe, spinning angrily toward Sean. "First of all, I'm not interested in training in the use of my 'abilities,' with or without my little red ball. This is not my home, and I don't plan on staying. But from time to time, my toys do come in handy, and I don't appreciate you taking them away from me. Secondly, this is my cigarette, and they're my lungs, so it's my business. Thirdly, I know more about my so-called "classmates" than you or Emma ever will, so don't patronize me by suggesting that I should play happy "get-to-know-you" games with obnoxious children young enough to be my brother's friends, when I already know enough about them to write a friggin' book!" Joe waved his cigarette angrily in the air, reluctantly conceding, "Well, maybe not a book. But at least a chapter in one!" Sean opened his mouth to reply, but Joe leapt in again. "And FOURTHLY," roared Joe, "and perhaps MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL.... DON"T. CALL. ME. LADDIE!"
"Young man-" said Sean, before he was interrupted again.
"He does make some very good points, Sean," said Emma. She walked over to where Joe stood, tapping her fingers to suggest that she, too, could use a cigarette. Joe traded a smoke and a light for the little red ball Emma pulled from her pocket. After a hearty inhale, Emma continued, "These three young men seem to do pretty well for themselves. Perhaps they can teach our students more than we can teach them." Emma's telepathic voice rang in everyone's brain. Students! She cried. Banshee and I are under attack. You must prevent these three intruders from leaving the grounds! She smiled at Joe. "Make it off the campus, and the three of you are free to go."
"Are ye daft, woman!" shouted Banshee. "We canna just-"
"Hush, Sean," said Emma. "Play dead." With a telepathic nudge, Sean and Emma fell to the floor, apparently unconscious. Joe pressed the button on his CESU, and was back in full battle garb. Charles ran his hands in front of his body, his Negative Zone beams stripping away the suit and tie and revealing the Supercool costume underneath. Kyle just shrugged, and dropped his pants. Thankfully, he, too, was wearing his costume underneath. And then, the battle was upon them.
The first to attack was M, who battered through the wall of the study, crashing into Joe's back before anyone knew she was there. Fortunately, Joe had activated his force field before the battle began, and was therefore able to avoid most of the physical damage from M's attack. Still, her momentum was there, and Joe was thrown against the far wall. M flew in for a follow up attack. Skin and Chamber stepped into the room through the entrance M had most recently created. Charles leapt at the British mutant, while Skin's fingers snaked out like fleshy tendrils to ensnare Kyle.
"I've got amazing superhuman strength, remarkable intelligence, incredibly fast and agile flight capabilities, telepathy, resistance to damage, and stunning good looks," M bragged to Joe as she prepared to pound him into the floor. "You can't beat me; I'm superwoman!"
"Ha!" snapped Joe. "I'm twice the woman you are!" He stopped, considered his words, and blushed faintly as a Wonder-blast knocked M through the ceiling.
Chamber pulled aside the bandana covering his face, letting the mutant fire within his body brim to the surface. Without a second thought (because a second thought would have stopped him from doing it), Charles plunged his hands straight into the young mutant's face. The Negative Zone power within Charles began to feed on the energies within Chamber's body. Both young men gritted their teeth and refused to move. It was a standoff.
Skin had Kyle wrapped almost completely head-to-toe, but still, Kyle managed to squirm his way from side to side, both arms flailing wildly. Though blind, Kyle could feel his hand brush against Emma Frost's "unconscious" body. He felt her hair, her neck, her Watch it, young man!, and finally, her hand, still holding a smoldering cigarette. Kyle pulled the cigarette from Frost's fingers, and drove it into the nearest portion of flesh wrapped around his body. It took a few seconds for the heat from the burn to penetrate Skin's thick skin, but when it did, the young mutant howled in pain, and quickly recoiled the Skin around his body. Kyle, snapped tight and suddenly released, tumbled head-over-heels through the window and into the lawn.
As M swooped back into the study, Joe swung his Sunsword madly in the air in front of him. Hampered by the close quarters, M was forced to retreat back through her hole in the ceiling to avoid being sliced by Joe's weapon. The moment she was out of sight, Joe surveyed the scene. Kyle was gone, and the nearby broken window left a pretty good clue as to his location. Meanwhile, Skin had stretched himself into some bizarre tent, and was fanning away at a small burn on his arm. Chuck and Chamber were locked into some sort of disturbing stalemate. Joe absent-mindedly tossed a paste bomb into the folds of Skin's body, and leapt out the window after Kyle.
A moment later, Charles followed. For a short while, he had thought that Chamber might actually win. But in the end, no single mutant's energies could possibly overload an entire dimension. As Chamber's energy faded away, Charles gently dropped his unconscious opponent to the floor, then turned to see Joe stick Skin to the wall, floor, ceiling, and furniture in his corner of the study before leaping out the window.
As Charles hit the ground outside of the study, he rolled once to dissolve the momentum of his leap, then looked up to see Synch standing above him. The rainbow aura surrounding Synch told Charles that his opponent had absorbed the powers of a nearby mutant. And when Synch opened his mouth to scream, Charles had a pretty good idea which one.
Husk dug her fingernails into the skin of her face, and pulled the flesh away. Underneath, her body was composed of iron. She had been trying for adamantium, but the complex chemical composition of that metal still eluded her. Still, she was super-strong and super-durable, and the red-haired kid she was about to fight didn't seem that tough.
As Husk swung a powerful arm at her nearest foe, Kyle ducked backwards to avoid the blow. Husk's arm hit Kyle in the chest, and sent the young man flying. Kyle landed on the ground, bruised and breathing shallowly. Husk pressed her attack.
Joe saw M fly out of the building, circle once in the air, then drop into a dive-bomb headed right for him. Then, Joe saw Jubilee activating her powers out of the corner of his eye. Then, Joe didn't see anything at all. He curled into a ball, activated his force field, and waited for the impact.
Charles drew back his hand, ready to jab Synch sharply in the larynx to silence his powers. Just before his attack struck, Charles noticed that Joe was in plenty of trouble. So, he clapped his Negative Zone hands tightly over both ears. The banging, rushing, and swirling of another dimension was all he heard as the force of Banshee's shock wave sent Charles tumbling back into the side of the building. As he landed abruptly, Charles turned to see Jubilee, unconscious, to one side and M, dazed, to the other. Joe was back on his feet, though wandering.
"Great!" he said. "I'm blind and deaf. Someone help me, I'm blind and deaf!"
"Blind, deaf, and dumb," Charles muttered.
"I heard that!" shouted Joe.
"No I didn't," he muttered a moment later. Orienting himself against the wall of the building, Joe began to fire random Wonder Blasts at where he thought Synch should be standing. Synch did an excellent job of avoiding most of the random shots, but when Charles added his own Negative Zone Force Blasts to the mix, there was nothing to do but fall over.
Husk raised a metal fist.
Kyle scooted backwards, crab-style, on his butt.
Husk took a step forward.
Kyle slid backwards some more.
Husk stepped firmly forward.
Kyle cowered meekly.
Husk fell to the ground, asleep.
Kyle looked to his left, then to his right, then figured out why.
Well, I guess that's that, Emma Frost said, telepathically. You boys are free to go now. Mentally, she projected a picture of Kyle, sitting just outside of the gates of the Massachusetts Academy. I'll mindwipe- er, rather, explain to the children why you were prompted into combat. And next time, you'd better not expect to be so lucky.