"Guys," Joe asked, lighting a cigarette. "Does it ever seem like we're just bouncing from one adventure to the next?" Charles and Kyle looked at one another, and shrugged in unison.
"Not really," they said.
"I mean, we were just in the Mojoverse," Joe argued, "And then we were on the moon. And when we got back, Rina and Milo were gone. But we had to fight the Juggernaut and Generation X before we could even start to think about looking for them. Isn't that weird?"
"His name is Harry," Charles said.
"Not Milo," added Kyle.
"Taxi!" shouted Joe.
A yellow cab screeched to a stop on the access road. Joe opened the door, and motioned for Charles and Kyle to get in. They did, and Joe pulled the door shut behind the three of them.
"Driver," asked Joe. "Do you know where the Project: Pegasus government research facility in Upstate New York is?"
"I could find it," said the man.
"We want to go there," Joe said.
"Uh, forgive me," said the driver, "But do you understand that you're in Boston? Do you have any idea how much money that's going to cost you?"
"You can bill the school," Joe said. The man looked up at the immaculately maintained campus that somehow survived on only ten students, and nodded his head. "It's a deal," he said. The cab began to move.
Many, many hours of grueling road trip later, Joe, Kyle, and Charles stood in front of the massive government research facility known as Project: Pegasus. A uniformed guard came out to meet them almost immediately.
"We're here to check on Haywire," Joe said before the guard could open his mouth.
"Haywire?" asked the man. "I thought all those Squadron guys left about a month ago."
"All but one," said Joe. "Let us see his quarters, please."
"I- I don't know about this," said the man.
"Then get the Blue Shield," Joe insisted. The guard scurried off to do just that.
Meanwhile, inside the facility...
"1600 hours on Day Sixteen of the Swarm project. Dr. Andrew Kapplehoff recording. We've obtained the skeletal remains of Dr. Fritz von Meyer, the supervillain once known as Swarm. Though there seems to be no trace of any remaining organic tissue, we are nonetheless detecting from the skeleton a low-level psycho-kinetic field which we presume to be the so-called 'consciousness' of Dr. von Meyer. However, our repeated attempts to contact that consciousness have all met with failure. Even shrouding the skeleton in the purple cloak Dr. von Meyer wore in his "Swarm" persona has failed to reintegrate his humanity. Today, I intend to introduce a single honeybee into the sealed booth in which we have thusfar maintained the skeleton. If any vestigial traces of Dr. von Meyer's ability to manipulate the psyches of insects, especially bees, remains, we should see atypical behavior in our insect sample. I have..."
"Boys, my name is the Blue Shield. I'm the director of Security here at Project: Pegasus. And, unfortunately, I'm going to have to send you kids home. Haywire no longer resides here, but his privacy is still our business. You're out of luck this time, I'm afraid."
"Oh, but Dazzler said you'd help us!" Joe exclaimed. "She told us you were kind, and decent, and generous, and you'd help us since we really, really need you."
"She also said you were really sexy!" chimed in Kyle. "And boy, was she right!"
"Alison said that?" asked the Blue Shield.
"Yeah," said Joe. "And she even gave us these old boots of hers to prove it!" He clicked his heels together three times.
"Those are Ali's old boots!" said the Blue Shield. "Why don't you boys come in, and tell me how she's doing? Is she healthy? Seeing anyone? Did she have a message for me?"
"Why don't you show us Milo's room first," Charles suggested. "Then we'll tell you about her."
"Continuing our study of the biological entity we believe to be known as the 'Carpathian Swarm.' When uncovered by our research team at Starcore, the Carpathian Swarm had been exposed to the extreme cold, pressure, and vacuum of space for a period of approximately fifteen months. Still, the Swarm seems to have capably survived through continued reproduction and the ingestion of its dead. The Swarm was first encountered by costumed adventurers Spider-Man, a team of Avengers, and the group of mercenaries now known as the Outlaws, who were able to trap the Swarm in an old case, and launch it into space, where it was recovered by our team. The Swarm is apparently composed of millions of microscopically small insects, similar in structure and hive dynamics to the typical American honeybee. However, these insects seem to be capable of ingesting meats, hair, skin and flesh, and are as such capable of stripping a small animal in quite literally the blink of an eye. Furthermore, the Carpathian Swarm seems to possess a rudimentary group consciousness, as the black cloud representing its mass never dissipates or strays. Fortunately, we are able to keep the Swarm locked tightly away in a series of concentric plexiglass spheres. My concern at this point is..."
"Shut up, woman! I was on the friggin' Squadron Supreme!" shouted Milo.
"Oooh, my psychic senses tell me that YOU'RE A BIG FAT BUTTHEAD! And guess what? You'll be a Butthead tomorrow, too!" replied Rina.
"Oh Rina, I'm sorry," said Milo. "What were we even fighting about?"
"I don't remember anymore, Milo. I love you!" said Rina.
The two embraced, and drew together for a kiss.
"...section leader for Advanced Idea Mechanics. Our objective is to obtain from Project: Pegasus the alien Nega-Bands, which our intelligence reports is on the premises. Project: Pegasus was, until recently, guarded by the so-called 'Squadron Supreme,' but with that group's recent return to their home dimension, the Project is protected only by its security chief, the Blue Shield. Our numbers should be more than sufficient to capture the Nega-Bands."
"Our scrying pools have finally turned him up, master! The young one you asked us to find is back on Earth, and all but defenseless. Shall I gather your forces? Oh, of course, sir! It is only fitting that you wrest the power you crave from your enemy's wretched carcass! Whenever you're ready, Lord Ares!"
"I've found something!" said Kyle.
"What is it?" asked Charles. Kyle held up a small magazine.
"Apartment listings," he said. "With one circled, in red. I'll bet this is where Milo - Harry- is now!"
"Then let's go!" said Joe. "We can-"
Any further discussion of the matter was drowned out by the wail of the Project's alarms.
"The Nega-Bands!" shouted the Blue Shield.
"Take us there," said Charles.
Two huge metal carts wheeled their way past one another in the dimly-lit halls of Project: Pegasus. Suddenly, the nearest wall burst open, slamming the two metal carts into one another. From the newly-made hole in the wall poured a contingent of A.I.M. soldiers, dressed in yellow battle togs. Still, the two scientists paid the terrorists no mind, staring instead at the wreckage of their two projects.
"Hey!" shouted Dr. Andrew Kapplehoff to Dr. Peter Anderwahl, "You got microscopic cannibal bees in my psionic energy skeleton!"
"No," retorted Dr. Anderwahl, "You got psionic energy skeleton in my microscopic cannibal bees!"
Slowly, the black cloud from Dr. Anderwahl's project settled around Dr. Kapplehoff's specimen skeleton. Gradually, the cloud formed the shape of a man, and raised itself to full height, adjusting the purple cloak around its shoulders.
Fritz von Meyer's voice cackled.
"I'm back," he said.
Dr. Andrew Kapplehoff looked at Dr. Peter Anderwahl. Dr. Peter Anderwahl looked at Dr. Andrew Kapplehoff. Together, they both shouted, "Oh damn!"
Meanwhile, in another part of the project, more A.I.M. troopers were in the midst of a high-strung shoot-out with Project: Pegasus' security forces. Both groups were flanking a small pedestal which held the infamous Nega-Bands.
"They're after the Nega-Bands!" shouted the Blue Shield.
"We'll just have to get there first," said Joe. "Chuck, are you up for a little flying?"
"I think I can manage that," replied Charles. Joe wrapped his arms around Charles' shoulders, and activated his force field.
"Quickly now," Joe cautioned. Charles surged forward. As the two neared the pedestal, Joe let his field down for just one second as Charles reached for the Nega-Bands. Unfortunately, Charles was still a bit shaky at flying, and the weight on his back didn't help. His fingers curled around one of the bands, but the other clattered noisily to the floor. Just then, a blinding flare of light exploded in front of Joe and Charles, knocking them both to the floor. Joe picked the second Nega-Band off the floor, then looked up to see what had happened.
"Ah, the Chaos of Battle! I love it!" shouted Ares, God of War, as he and a battalion of ogres, demons, skeletons, thugs, goons, and scalawags stepped from a transpatial portal. Joe and Charles each absent-mindedly slid the Nega-Band he held onto his wrist as Ares looked down at the two of them. "You," the god intoned, "have something I want."
And in the basement of Project: Pegasus, the entity known as Carpathian made his way towards the sounds of battle.