The Story

Chapter 32

"Ubiquitous Gore"

Charles and Kyle each raised an eyebrow as Joe pulled his way into Cestus, his latest acquisition.
"What?" he asked.
"Uh, you're not going to keep that thing, are you?" asked Kyle.
"Yeah," said Joe. "It's got some kind of magic powers."
"Sure, but, Joe..." Charles said, leading with his hands as though the conclusion of that statement should be terribly obvious. When Joe showed no sign of stopping, he finished with, "...you're wearing women's underwear."
Joe had finished tying the last of the straps, and was now sliding his Supercool stretch-shirt back over his body. He stopped when he heard what Charles was suggesting. Joe quickly pulled his hands through this sleeves, then turned to address the issues at hand.
"Look," he said, "I'm the Scavenger. I take things of other peoples, and I wear them because they have powers. The Hypno-Jacket is twice as ugly, and I don't see you guys complaining about it."
"The hypno-jacket isn't women's underwear," said Kyle.
"It's a girdle, for God's sake!" yelled Joe. "It's not a bra and panties, it's a girdle! Men wear girdles!"
"Yeah," said Charles, "Men who are women."
"Oh, screw you," said Joe. He stormed over to the statue of a rearing Pegasus which sat in front of the research center. Joe drove his Wonder-Gloved hand through the horse's stomach, and pulled out the Nega-Bands, which he promptly fitted about his wrists.
"Huh?" asked Kyle. "But- but I just turned those back in!"
"Right," said Joe. "Those are the bands as they exist in the present. These are the bands from the future, which I'm borrowing. Don't worry, I'll give them back to Captain Marvel sometime in his past."
"I'm confused," said Charles.
"You guys wouldn't want these anyway," Joe said dryly. "Bracelets are for girls."
"Very funny, Joe," said Charles. "Now come on, give them here. Those bands enhance my powers; I should be the one who gets to wear them."
"No, I'm the Scavenger," said Joe. "These are items of power, so I get to wear them."
"You should give them to me," said Kyle. "I'm the one who doesn't have any power." Charles and Joe just stared at Kyle.
"I don't follow," said Joe.
"I- oh, nevermind," said Kyle. Joe turned back to Chuck.
"Tell you what, Chuck," he said. "Do you think you can remember what you did to block the bands from Rick Jones?"
"I think so," said Chuck.
"Good," said Joe, holding out his wrists. "Then touch the bands, and try to concentrate really hard on doing that again." Charles did as Joe suggested. For a brief instant, both boys appeared as a negative image. "Now we can share them," said Joe. He slammed the bands together. Charles appeared in his place, wearing the bands.
"Keen!" said Charles.
"And hopefully now..." Joe said. He pressed Charles' wrists together, and the two switched places again. "We've eliminated Rick Jones entirely!"
"So, where are we headed now?" asked Kyle.
"How about straight to hell?" someone suggested. Charles, Joe, and Kyle turned to face the three costumed foes that had materialized suddenly next to them.

It was the young woman in the front who had spoken. Her hair was golden blond, and fell to just beyond her shoulders. Her face was obscured by a black domino mask. She was wearing black tights, with a small gold disk set in the center of her costume. A thin white line traced itself down from the disk, dispersing at her waist to trim her legs and feet. She spoke again.
"You 'Supercools' will die for what you've done to us," she said. "Now you face the wrath of Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows." The threesome attacked.

Kyle had problems seeing his opponent. Or maybe he had problems seeing too much of his opponent. The young man who called himself Sunshine seemed to be just that; he radiated intense light, blinding anyone who tried to look directly at him. Kyle was so disoriented momentarily that he almost didn't see the heat ray streaking towards him. With a yelp, Kyle took cover behind the statue of the Pegasus. Sunshine lifted himself into the air, and continued firing.

Lollipops pulled two white batons capped with gold disks from her belt, and swung at Charles. Nimbly dodging to the left, Charles tried to return fire with a few Negative explosions. Lollipops avoided his attack with ease. Feint and counter-feint, the two danced around one another, waiting for an opening.

Joe took one look at his opponent, and began to crack up laughing.
"What?" asked Rainbows. He was a heavyset man, with a thick, athletic build. He was dressed in a skin-tight lavender costume, with a rainbow-striped inverted triangle on the chest. Joe pointed at the emblem, and laughed some more.
"Bwah-hah-hah!" laughed Joe.
"What is it?" asked Rainbows, frustrated. "What? Are you afraid of a little man-on-man action?" Joe fell to his knees.
"Bwah-hah-hah!" he said.
"Don't think I can't do it to you; I'm a macho, macho man," boasted Rainbows. Tears began to stream down Joe's face.
"Bwah-hah-hah!"

Lollipops dropped one of her batons to the ground, and shot her hand towards Charles.
"Uh-uh, missy," said Charles, catching her errant hand. "I don't know what sort of power you've got going for you, but you're not using it on me. He pushed the young woman away. She snarled a curse, and retrieved her other baton.

Sunshine's heat ray melted the statue away from Kyle. "Time to die, little man," said Sunshine.
"I'm not little," said Kyle. His eyes burned with rage.
Suddenly, Sunshine's power turned off from around him. Kyle's would-be assassin fell to the ground in a heap.
"This isn't working!" exclaimed Lollipops. "Rainbows, get us out of here!"
"What? What's so funny??" cried Rainbows.
"Rainbows, now!" shouted Lollipops. Rainbows hung his head. Dazzling, multicolored bands of light flew from his body, wrapping around Sunshine and Lollipops. As they faded away, Lollipops said ominously, "This isn't over, Supercools. Not by a longshot." And then, the villains were gone.
"Well, that was fun," said Joe.
"Yup," said Charles.
"Did you see what I did?" asked Kyle.
"Couldn't've been that impressive," Joe said.
"Nope," said Charles.


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