The Story
Chapter 6
"New Friends & New Warriors"
Kitty Pryde’s hands flashed back and forth across the panel of switches, buttons, and levers that control the traps, puzzles, and holography of the X-Men’s “Danger Room.” Through the glass wall in front of her, Kitty could see Storm and Gambit lined up to begin testing their newest recruit, Mr. Negativity.
“You don’t have to call me that,” Charles said. “My NEW code name is…
… … … Hold on, I’ll think of something. Oh, what the hell- Mr. Negativity.”
“Right,” said Kitty, rolling her eyes. “Before we begin training you in the use of your mutant powers, we’d like to see just what those powers are. You said that somehow your hands are connected to the Negative Zone, right?”
“Right,” said Charles.
“Hmm… I still wish you’d let us call Reed Richards in on a consult- he knows more about this stuff than I ever will.”
“Um… No,” said Charles. “He… um… No.”
“Ooookay,” said Kitty. “Let’s get started, shall we? This first exercise is just a test of your hands’ energy absorption capabilities. Gambit?”
“Right, p’tie.” Gambit pulled a deck of playing cards from his coat then selected the top card. Gambit’s hand and the card within began to glow. A few seconds later, Gambit launched the card at Charles. Charles calmly held one of his own hands to block the missle. When the two struck, Gambit’s card vanished, and Charles remained unscathed. The two repeated this process several times with Gambit’s cards becoming more and more kinetically charged. Charles was never touched.
After Gambit’s powers proved ineffective, Storm stepped up to take her turn. Lightning arched from her fingertips, smaller blasts becoming progressively larger, until a full-on thunderstorm battered itself against Charles’ palms. The electric charge was strong enough to make the hair on his arms stand on end, but there was no damage inflicted.
“Merciful Goddess,” muttered Kitty.
“I heard that,” said Storm.
The test continued well into the day, pausing only long enough for Kitty and Charles to eat a quick lunch. Charles’ hands resisted energy on every spectrum and wavelength. When it came time for Marrow’s test, Charles even found that by concentrating, he could draw Marrow’s bone-knives into his hands, leaving himself unscarred. By mid-afternoon, Shadowcat had concluded that Charles’ hands could conceivably block any force thrown against them. Then it was time for the real test.
“Relax, Charles,” Kitty said. “The Danger Room is set on ‘bruise’ only. The traps may look real, but they won’t hurt you. All you have to do is make it from where you’re standing now through the exit door on the other side of the room. Take a deep breath, and let me know when you’re ready.”
Charles inhaled, and looked across the featureless floor to the door only forty feet away. He knew that any number of traps could spring from the walls, floor, or ceiling to block his path, but somehow his mind kept insisting that a quick jog to the door would be child’s play. “I’m ready,” he said.
Kitty pressed the ‘Engage’ button, and the floor dropped out from under Charles’ feet. Already preparing to move, Charles was able to push off from the ground just as it fell, rolling safely away from the trapdoor. Immediately, Charles brought both hands up to guard his face from the barrage of lasers that swept down on him. Then it was time to roll away from the falling spikes, side-step the swinging guillotine, and duck under the thin sheet of flame. The air-delivered punching bag caught Charles by surprise, and it took him a few seconds to regain his composure before he was able to sprint the few remaining feet towards the door. Charles reached out his hand, his fingers curled around the knob.
Suddenly, Charles was jerked back from the door. A metal coil had sprouted from the floor and wound its way around Charles’ ankle. Now, more coils popped from the floor, binding Charles’ legs, arms, and chest. His eyes watered with pain as the coils constricted tighter.
“Tough break, kid,” Kitty’s voice blared over the loudspeaker. “Don’t feel too bad- you’re new at this.”
No! Charles screamed internally. There’s no way I’m going to screw this up and look like a fool in front of Kyle and the X-Men. I’ve got to find a way! I’ve got to! With his eyes clenched tightly shut, Charles was unable to see the black nimbus of energy that was beginning to form around his hands. With his mind racing to find a solution, Charles was unable to watch the tiny chain reaction of crippling explosions that ran from his palms through the coils that bound his arms, detonating finally under his feet. With all of his concentration focused on the door, Charles wasn’t sure why he was suddenly free. But then, he didn’t care. Seconds after he hit the ground, Charles was through the exit door and into the hallway beyond.
“Holy shit!” Charles heard Kitty exclaim as his surroundings faded once more into the Danger Room. “Charles, that was amazing! You spontaneously manifested your Negative Zone energies as a weapon!” Charles was beaming with pride as he stepped from the Danger Room. He was so excited, he didn’t even notice the putrid stench of brimstone as Nightcrawler teleported down to meet him. The German mutant handed Charles a towel and said, “Welcome to the team.”
As Charles left the Danger Room, the room quickly reset itself. Lasers, bombs, spikes, pits, and blades reset themselves, ready to be launched at the next trainee.
“Your turn, No Powers Boy,” Kitty said.
“Oh damn,” said Kyle.
Joe’s day began on a much less stellar note. He yawned, wiped the drool from his face, and proceeded to crack every joint in his body. His mother had often told him that every experience should be a learning one; Joe’s trip to the Marvel Universe taught him never to sleep in the backseat of a Pogo Plane. At least no one bothered me up here, Joe thought, taking in the view from atop the Statue of Liberty’s crown.
Joe piloted the Pogo Plane back into downtown Manhattan, parking it in an abandoned lot. He really wanted to eat, and he really, really wanted a cigarette. Not wanting to look conspicuous, Joe shed the flamethrower, paste-vest, and Wonder Glove he’d picked up carried them to the Pogo Plane’s “trunk.” The hypno-jacket he kept on, and the ring was still firmly, magically bound to his pinky. At the trunk, fortune smiled on Joe. Inside the trunk was a Ziploc bag marked “Emergencies.” Inside was $1,000 in assorted bills. I suppose this constitutes an emergency. Besides, Reed Richards is loaded- he’ll never miss $1,000. Pocketing the money, Joe activated the Plane’s various security measures and went shopping.
A shower at the YMCA, several changes of clothes from a local shop, a carton of cigarettes from a newsstand and a light breakfast at a nearby café later, Joe was ready to face the day. Over his second cup of coffee, Joe came to the tragic realization that his boasts to Kyle and Chuck had been largely in vain. Everyone whom he might have considered going to for help leaving the dimension had already proved worthless. Doesn’t matter. Stupid Kyle and Stupid Chuck don’t want me in their Stupid X-Men, fine. I’ll go make new friends. His first stop was back to the Pogo Plane, to ditch his extra clothes, extra cigarettes, and $400 (wouldn’t hurt to save some for later). Then, mentally visualizing the New York of the Marvel Universe, Joe set out to find the one place where he could find some new friends.
Nova, Night Thrasher, Rage, Turbo, Kymaera, and Robbie “Speedball” Baldwin were lazing around their headquarters, the Crash Pad, discussing the moral and social implications of the previous night’s episode of “South Park” when they heard a knock on the door.
“Pizza’s here!” Nova shouted gleefully.
“Robbie, you’re up,” said Night Thrasher.
“How come I have to get the pizza?” whined Robbie.
“You’re the only one not wearing a costume,” Turbo reminded him.
“Neither is Nita,” Robbie said, pointing to Kymaera.
“Yes, Robbie, but I have blue skin, webbed fingers and gills. All you have is bad skin and a lackluster fashion sense.”
“Hey!” said Robbie, less hurt by Nita’s joke than her usurpation of his place as the team’s wiseass. He hopped up to answer the door. Instead of the pizza man, Robbie found himself staring at a young man, about his age, with blond hair, glasses, and the coolest jacket Robbie had ever seen.
“You’re not from the Pizza Palace,” Robbie said, somehow making it both a declaration and a question.
“No, I’m not,” Joe said, taking a drag off his cigarette. “But I know that your name is Robbie Baldwin. And I know that you’re Speedball. Can I come in?”
“Shit!” yelled Robbie, banging his hands against the wall of the Crash Pad. “Shit! Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!” Joe looked puzzled. Robbie continued, speaking mostly to himself. “Carlton says, ‘Hey Robbie, I know you’re Speedball. Now he’s a New Warrior. Then Rina says, ‘Hey Robbie, I know you’re Speedball.’ What am I? The secret password? How the hell does everyone know this?”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t let your secret slip. And don’t worry, I have no intention of telling anyone. Now can I come in?”
“Whatever,” Robbie pouted, stepping back in to the Crash Pad. Joe stepped in behind him, shutting the door. Speedball’s fellow New Warriors looked startled, their eyes darting back and forth to determine which of them would be the first to invent an alibi.”
“Relax, everyone,” said Joe. “Dwayne, Elvin, Rich, Nita, Mickey- my name is Joe. And boy, do I have a story to tell you.” Joe drew in another puff from his Marlboro, found a seat, and began to tell the story. Forty-five minutes and four cigarettes later, Joe was looking at six very stunned New Warriors.
“We’re a comic book?!?!” Nita asked, scoffing at the affront to her Atlantean dignity.
“We’ve been cancelled?!?!” Robbie asked, scoffing at the affront to his hyperkinetic dignity.
“Well, you’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you need,” Dwayne offered. “There’s plenty of room in the Crash Pad, or I can put you up in one of my penthouses.”
“We know what it’s like to have friends skip out on you to join a more ‘mainstream’ team. Vance and Angel, they…”
“Just joined the Avengers, right?”
“Yeah. Just like your friends dropped you to be X-Men. Man, that sucks!”
Of course, when Joe told the New Warriors his story, he told them his story. Now, Kyle and Charles were ugly, stupid, unpopular, and smelled funny. It was petty, but Joe took a certain amount of pleasure in it nonetheless.
Soon after Joe settled in, the Pizza Palace guy showed up. Joe paid for the pizza with his FantastiCash, and the seven teens settled in to chat.
“Where’s Rina?” Joe asked, anxious to meet one of his favorite New Warriors.
“Uh… she, doesn’t really hang out here anymore,” Robbie said. “She lost her powers a while ago, and she said that hanging out with us just reminded her of how much she gave up. We keep telling her that they’re coming back, but she doesn’t have a lot of patience.”
“I see,” said Joe. “What about Alex?”
Night Thrasher explained. “He wanted to start spending equal time with us and his siblings. Today’s their ‘fun day.’”
“It probably sounds crazy, but I’ve always had this weird suspicion about him. I wanted to meet him in person, check it out for myself.”
“Does your ‘suspicion’ have anything to do with your pierced right ear?” Nita asked, smirking.
“Um, yeah, sort of,” Joe said, blushing.
“Mickey and I wonder, too.” Nita, Mickey, and Joe all laughed. Robbie, Rich, Dwayne, and Elvin just looked around at each other, puzzled.
“I’ll explain later,” Nita said, patting Rich on the shoulder.
Joe shrugged, and lit another cigarette. He was enjoying himself, home dimension or no. It was really a shame that things were about to go horribly wrong.
Kyle walked, very bruised, from the Danger Room. Charles was right outside, wearing a black-and-yellow “X” suit that proclaimed him a member of the team. He tossed a similar garment to Kyle. “Suit up,” Charles ordered. “We just got a call for help from Paradise Island; the X-Men are needed.”
“Paradise Island is in the DC Universe,” Kyle moaned.
“Then we’re going to the DC Universe. Now put on your suit- we’ve got five minutes to be in the hangar.”
Kyle moaned again, then did what he was told.
“Nooooo!” cried Kyle.
Joe looked over to his friend, sleepily. “Kyle?” he asked. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you talking about?!?” Kyle screamed, shaking Joe. “We don’t have time for your stupid games! Chuck is dead, Joe- can’t you see that? Chuck is dead! Quit playing around.”
Joe looked to the ground in front of him, where Charles Curtis Hopkins II lay motionless. “Chuck?” Joe asked softly. “Chuck, are you dead?” Joe fell to his knees. He reached to check the body for a pulse when he realized that he couldn’t move his broken right arm. Tears began to form in Joe’s eyes.
As Joe choked back his crying, Timeslip ran forward, grabbing him by the shoulders to command his attention.
“Joe,” she said. “Joe, you’ve got to listen to me very carefully. You can not let me get my powers back- do you understand? The world, all time, everything depends on it! Do you understand?”
“Not now, Rina!” Joe cried. “Not now! Can’t you see that Chuck is dead?!?”
Joe closed his eyes and started to cry. Chuck is dead. Chuck is dead, and my arm is broken. Chuck is dead, my arm is broken, and something itches terribly on my forehead. Joe reached his left hand to his forehead to investigate the strange heat welling there.
“…lright? Joe? Hello?”
Joe opened his eyes. Rina Patel was standing over him, the other New Warriors behind her. They were back in the Crash Pad.
“Joe, it’s Rina. Can you hear me?”
“Yes,” Joe muttered groggily. He was more than a little surprised to find his right arm working perfectly. “I must’ve blacked out,” he said.
“It was a little more than that, I think,” Rina said. “You were speaking in nonsense- ‘How did I get here?’ ‘Why does my arm work?’ ‘Where’s Chuck?’ I swear, you were carrying on just the way I did when I used to…” Her eyes reflected sheer horror. “When I used to tell the future.”
Joe sobered immediately. “Oh my God! FUCK! Rina, Everyone- we have to hurry! We’ve got to find them! We’ve got to find the X-Men now, or my friend Chuck is going to die!”
Back to Chapter 5
Chapter 7
Back to the homepage