~Rope The Moon~

Presents....

LAW ENFORCEMENT



When God made Peace Officers...
When the Lord was creating peace officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order?"
"A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform."
"He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day."
"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... no way."
"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, "May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.) Another pair here in the side of his head for his partners' safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, 'You'll be all right ma'am, when he knows it isn't so."
"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."
"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck."
The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly, "Can it think?" she asked.
"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop... and still it keeps its sense of humor. This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."
"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.
"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."
"You're a genius," said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.
~Anonymous~





Royal Canadian Mounted Police






Solve a crime...












My favorite city in the U.S. - Nashville, Tennessee


Rules of Conduct for Motor Officers
100.01 Swaggering is mandatory at all times. Any motor officer caught in a non-swaggering walk, while in uniform, shall be required to wear straight pants and low quarter shoes for a whole week (7 days).
100.02 Every motor officer shall make radio call them atleast five (5) times before answering. When the officer does answer, it shall be with a surly, disgusted and hostile tone of voice.
100.03 When a otor officer is assigned a detail, he shall reply with one of the following excuses (whether it applies or not doesn't matter)...
1) Copy, aren't there any patrol units available? (This must be said sarcastically enough to bring the dispatcher to tears);
2) Copy, I'm on an accident follow-up. (This will apply if you accidently scuffed the toe of your boots and you are wiping it off);
3)Key and unkey the mike rapidly while gunning your bike as loudly as possible. (This will generally blow the headset off of the dispatcher and they will quit trying to contact you).
Always keep in mind that any motor officer who actually takes a call from radio will be shunned, jeered at and soundly riciculed by his fellow motor officers for the rest of his natural life.
100.04 On each and every shift, the motor officer shall write at least one of the following violators:
1) A mother-to-be on the way to the hospital:
2) A cancer patient (terminal);
3) A confused out of towner;
4) Someone, male or female, on the way to a funeral;
5) A painfully shy 16 year old male on his first date.
100.05 The motorcycle trainee shall address the senior motor officers as "Swaggermaster". (A senior motor officer being one who has had a meaningful relationship with his motor for a period of not less than one year).
100.06 The motorcycle trainee shall be referred to as the "swaggerlet".










Juvenile deliquency is a result of parents trying to train their children without starting at the bottom



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