EATING!!! son: Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl? mom: Shut up and flush. son: Mummy, mummy, please can I have a spoon? mom: Yes of course dear. Why do you want the spoon? son: Because Daddy's been sick, and the cat's getting all the big bits son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost heap. mom: Shut up and keep eating. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why can't we get a garburator? mom: Shut up and chew! son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows! son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire! mom: Shut up and get the barbecue sauce! son: Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles? mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel! son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder! mom: Shut up and eat your hamburger! son: Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers! mom: Shut up and eat your french fries! son: Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye! mom: Shut up and eat around it. son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! mom: Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks! son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl? mom: Shut up and flush it like everyone else. son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper! mom: Shut up or I'll grind your other hand. son: Mommy, Mommy! I HATE tomato juice! mom: Shut up and drink it before it clots. son: Mommy, Mommy! My egg tastes bad. mom: stop complaining! Just eat it! son: Mommy, Mommy! mom: What is it now! son: Do I have to eat the beak as well? son: Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men? mom: Shut up and get back in the oven. son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise. mom: Shut up and eat around it! son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs? mom: Shut up and eat your cornflakes! son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like grandpa. mom: Well, just push him aside and eat your beans. or mom: Well okay , eat the beans instead ... son: Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat? mom: Shut up and eat your meat loaf. son: Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner? mom: Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet. daughter: Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much. mom: All right, you can take another slice. son: Mommy, Mommy! I hate my sisters guts. mom: Shut up and eat what's put in front of you. son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like Sis! mom: Shut up, and keep eating! son: Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts. mom: Well, just leave them on the side of the plate. son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like the crunchy stuff in my pea soup! mom: Keep quiet and eat what is on the table. (or) mom: Shut up. Do you think I pour Grandpa's vomit through a sieve? son: Mommy, Mommy! I wanted to lick the bowl this time. mom: Shaddup and flush. son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like this spaghetti! mom: Shutup or I'll rip the veins outta yer other arm!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! I HATE red and green spagetti! mom: Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm. son: Mummy, Mummy! what's for dinner? mom: Shut up and get back in the oven. son: Mommy, mommy! I don't want any more hamburger! mom: Shut up and stick your arms back into the meat grinder. son: Mummy, Mummy! I don't like grandma. mom: Well leave her on the side of your plate then. son: Mommy, mommy! Daddy threw up all over the kitchen floor. mom: Just ignore him, son. son: But little sis is getting all of the BIG pieces! son: Mommy, Mommy! are you sure this is the right way to cook Beijing Duck? mom: Shuddup and close the microwave oven door behind you! son: Mommy, Mommy! When will we have this nice yellow pudding again? mom: Shut up, you know that grandma's leg is no longer infested. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is Daddy bent over and crying? mom: Shut up and eat your hot dog! son: Mommy, Mommy! what's a vampire? mom: Shut up and drink your soup before it clots! son: Mommy, Mommy! are we really vampires? mom: Shut up and drink your soup before it clots! son: Mommy Mommy! I'm not hungry anymore. mom: Shut up and finish your paint chips. (a city version). RELOAD!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running so fast? mom: Shut up, and shoot! son: Mommy, mommy, why is everyone running away? mom: Shut up and reload. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy running away? mom: Shut up, and help me reload the shotgun! DIGGING!!! son: Mommy, mommy, I don't wanna visit Grandma! mom: Shut up and keep digging. son: Mommy, Mommy! Joey is biting grandma's nail. mom: Joey, stop it, or I am closing the coffin! son: Mommy, Mommy! I want to play with Sheldon! mom: Shut up and close the coffin! son: Mommy, Mommy! How will we ever find Daddy on this golf course? mom: Shut up and search the sand traps! son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play in the sandbox? mom: Not until I find a better place to bury Daddy. son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma? mom: Not today, we already dug her three times this week. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is daddy so pale? mom: Shut up and keep digging. son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to see daddy again. mom: Shut up and keep digging. son: Mommy, Mommy, I want to play with Grandpa now! mom: Keep quiet, the coffin stays closed today! son: Mommy, Mommy! Can't we give Daddy a decent burial? mom: Shut up and keep flushing! son: Mommy, mommy! I don't want to go to China. mom: Shut up and keep digging SWIMMING!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to see Niagara falls! mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel! son: Mommy, Mommy! I'm sick of learning how to swim! mom: Shut up or I'll flush it again! son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to go to Australia. mom: Shut up son and keep swimming. son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to England. mom: Shut up and keep swimming. son: Mommy, mommy, are you sure this is how to learn to swim? mom: Shut up and get back in the sack! son: Mommy, mommy! how far is America? Mommy: Shut up and keep rowing. SON: Mommy, mommy, can I go in swimming? Mom: Shut up. You know iron lungs don't float! RUN OVER!!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller. mom: Shut up. I'm in the bathroom, slide her under the door. son: Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller. mom: Shut up and get the maple syrup. son: Mommy, mommy, dad's been run over in the street!! mom: Don't make me laugh; you know my lips are chapped. DELIQUANT!!! son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child? mom: Shut up, light your cigarette, drink your whisky and deal those cards. son: Mommy, mommy, what is a deliquant child? mom: Shut up and pass me the crowbar. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why can't I play with the other kids? mom: Shut up and deal. son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't know how to play poker. mom: Shaddup and deal. HEAD!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board! son: Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big. mom: Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in! son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head? mom: Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store. LEG!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere? mom: Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg! son: Mummy, Mummy, Sally won't come skipping with me. mom: Don't be cruel dear, you know it makes her stumps bleed. son: Mommy, Mommy, I don't like running in circles! mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. son: Mommy, Mommy, Why am I running around in circles? mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. son: Mommy Mommy! I'm getting dizzy! mom: Shutup, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why do they call me spastic at school? mom: Shut up and take your legs out your pockets. OTHERS!!! son: Mommy, Mommy! Am I done with my bath yet? mom: Shut up or I'll flush you down! son: Mommy mommy ! When is the pool going to be ready ? mom: Shut up and spit ... son: Mommy, Mommy! I don't like fishing. mom: Shut up and stop squirming. daughter: Mommy, Mommy! Billy won't let go of my ear. mom: Billy, let go of Susie's ear. mom: Billy! Let go of her ear! mom: All right Billy, give me the ear. mom: Come upstairs, son, like a good boy. son: No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again. son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I brush my teeth? mom: Yes, now shut up and get the jar! son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's running down the street! mom: Shut up and step on the gas! son: Mommy Mommy! It's cold and dark and damp down here. mom: Shut up or I'll flush it again. son: Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa? mom: Shut up and get back in the box! son: Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey! mom: Shut up and comb your face! son: Mommy, Mommy! What's a werewolf? mom: Shut up and comb your face! son: Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet? mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute. son: Can Granny take me? mom: Why? son: Her hand shakes. son: Mommy, Mommy! Grandpa's going out! mom: Well throw some more gasoline on him then. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff? mom: Shut up son, you'll wake your father. son: Mommy, mommy, can I buy a new dress? mom: You know it won't fit over your iron lung. son: Mommy, Mommy, I'd like to play marbles now! mom: Keep quiet, you can't use Grandpa's glasseye today! son: Mommy, Mommy, can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. mom: Shut up Albert.... kid: Mommy, mommy, why is your hair so green? mom: [Sneezes into hand] Sure don't know, son. [wipes hand on hair] son: Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a long nose? mom: You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor. son: Mommy, Mommy! How come sis gets to watch TV and I can't? mom: Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too! son: Mommy, Mommy! Why are we celebrating Christmas in July? mom: Shut up, you know you have cancer. son: Mommy, Mommy, don't push to the elevator shAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT! son: Mommy, Mommy! What do you want with that ax.... son: Mommy, Mommy! I can't breathe! mom: Good, it's working. son: Mommy, Mommy! Daddy just poisoned my kitten! mom: Never mind dear. Perhaps he had to do it. son: No he didn't, he promised me I could! son: Mommy, Mommy! Can Sheldon come out and play baseball with us? mom: Now you know your little brother has no arms and legs! son: Yeah, we know. We just wanna use him for second base. son: Mommy, Mommy! Why is my hair so slimey? mom: Shut up, you little snot. What did the little boy say when his mother scolded him for cutting his Christmas present (a spotted hamster) neatly in two pieces with a cleaver? Answer: "But, Mommy, you said that if I was good, I could have (halve) him."
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