EKLEKTEK

THIS PAGE IS BEING DEDICATED TO SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL WHO
TOUCHED NOT ONLY MY LIFE BUT ALL THOSE WHO KNEW HER!!!

To my very dear friend Wendy, who most knew as "hegira"
the wise and wonderful, the beautiful and the awesome...
We laughed and cried together so many times and you live on...
Luke and Heidi and all those who love you, will not let you leave,
for you live on in our hearts and souls...
You are the true essence of spirituality and goodness
and I can hear you laughing at me!!!
OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH DEAR, have you spit out your teeth yet?
Have you given HIM a run for his money, you old crone???
Oh, Wendy! ... I miss you so much ... Save me a good seat!!!

It must have been cold there in my shadow
to never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind

So, I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strength
A beautiful face without a name, for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain

Did you ever know that you're my hero
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle
You are the wind beneath my wings

It might have appeared to go unnoticed
But I've got it all here in my heart
I want you to know the truth, of course I know it
I would be nothing without you

Fly, fly, fly away, you let me fly so high
Oh fly, fly, fly high against the sky
So high I almost touched the sky
Thank you, Thank you, Thank GOD for you
THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

~LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY~ (MICHAEL)

There is so much more to love than that which is being currently practiced on the planet. It is impossible to have the feeling of loving others if you don't have the feeling of loving the self.

Close your eyes and surround with the feeling of being loved unconditionally by the self. What surfaces, instead of a loving feeling from the heart, is critical judgemental chatter from the mind. The mind begins to list all the reasons why you are not worthy of unconditional love. You then turn to others, longing and searching for someone to prove the critical mind wrong.

Because of the law of attraction, you can only attract what is in your thoughts. You therefore attract someone who pretends to love you, when in truth they are looking for the same validation of their worthiness to be as you are.

To attract true love into your life you must first think loving thoughts about yourself. You must see yourself as worthy of your own love. When your thoughts become disciplined and loving toward the self, you will begin to attract others into your life who are truly loving. Begin by going within and receive the feeling from the heart of loving the self.

A Personal Note:

As I explore the evolution of love in modern day society, I have noticed that the traditional views of this concept no longer hold much value. I am finding that we seem to be drifting away from the fundamentals. As I work at finding the serenity that I greatly desire for my life I see around me a sad world. Humanity is drifting away from what could be the most wonderful feeling a person can have. Deep within my soul is still the belief that "true love" can conquer all!

But what is true love? For me, true love is not necessarily unconditional love, but love that is pure, untainted by negativity and deceit. The foundation on which it is built and grows comes from a desire in knowing the person you love is happy, healthy and whole in their own right. True love is predicated on trust above all else. It also comes with time. There is no such thing as love at first sight as far as I am concerned. That is something poets and writers dreamt up. I do believe however, that two souls are joined before they meet and with time they come to realize the depth of their feelings.

I think true love is rare. As I continue on my journey, I grow stronger and healthier knowing that finding this love is not as important anymore as living my life being all that I can be! Just knowing it exists is enough for now. I want to thank all of my friends and family who have always been there for me giving me love and support when it was most needed...May you know less sorrow and pain and feel the love that surrounds you...GOD BLESS...

2/23/97

Some time has passed since your death and the memories of you are stronger than ever! Friends have said that as time passed the pain would diminish and just the memories would remain. I still can't talk about you without crying... There are times when I feel your presence Wendy, and that is how I know you are still with us, perhaps not in the physical sense. People we have never met ask me about you, for I am keeping you alive with words, and as each new person visits you here on this page you will remain alive in our hearts and minds forever. Missing you heaps!!!

7/6/97

I have not forsaken or forgotten you my dear friend! I know some time has passed since I last updated your page. You have been gone so many months now and though the intense pain of your death is lessening...thoughts of you never cease! I'm sure you have been following what has been going on in all our lives. I have not spoken with Luke or Heidi and that saddens me. I speak to Lauran and Ross occassionally and they seem to be doing well. I wish you were here so we could have one of our all-nighters where we would sit and drink coffee and smoke ciggies well into early hours of our prospective mornings! I miss you Wendy, I hope you are doing OK up there amongst the other Angels! Vaya Con Dios, mi hermana... I love you!

10/11/97

It was one year ago this morning that word came of your death Wendy! I sit and often wonder how things would have been had you lived. Today was Yom Kippur...the Jewish "Day of Atonement". It is a time of reflection and solitude. A time to sit up and take notice of the past year and to look towards the year to come. I sat and had thoughts of you and our friendship. I thought of the past year. All the changes in my life as well as the things that didn't change at all and things yet to come. There were some wonderful times and there was some saddness too! But mostly, there was alot of growth. There was love lost and love found! New friends came, old friends stay and some left.

So on this day, the first anniversary of your death, I want to take a moment now to tell you again how very much I love you, miss you and wish you were here with us to share in this crazy thing we call life.

12/16/97

Another Christmas is upon us Wendy! I think about you more then ever. I miss you more then ever! I love you more then ever! It's been a strange year! But mostly a year of more growth! The more I see the more I believe and the more I believe the more I see!

6/1/98

I know... I know... Forgive me Wendy... I know it's been way to long since I have updated, but as you are well aware it's been a zoo down here! You want to know if I still miss you??? I miss you more then you know! Still talk about you all the time... Guess what??? Lauran and Ross finally did it.. yeppers.. they tied the proverbial "KNOT" They got married a few weeks ago! hehehehehe Oh my, oh my... you spit your teeth out! They send their love and miss ya heaps! I am doing OK but would be much better if you were physically here with me. I know you are watching from up there but it was more fun when you were here with us. I have met some interesting people the last few months! I would really appreciate some feedback dear... So... if you can send some more signs I would love it! Gonna run for now but will keep you posted.... Love ya heggie!

8/28/98

pssssssssssssssst.....I'm back Wendy! Things are still wild down here as you can well imagine! It's going on two years now since I made the move to South Florida. As usual, some things have changed and others have stayed the same. Something great did happen though... Josh is going to college ... Yep... I'm so excited for him! I still can't believe that you will be gone two years. I still hear your laugh. I'm OK, but I wish you were here cause IRC is not the same without you! Still missing you heaps! I haven't seen Lauran or Ross for awhile but I am sure they are fine. Talk to you soon... I love you!

10/09/98

Wendy, time has passed so quickly. It is now the second anniversary of your death and I miss you more then ever my dear friend. Sometimes when I'm thinking of you I wonder if you can feel my thoughts and hear my words. To say I miss you can't truly take in the depth of my feelings. When you left, you took a piece of me with you. But mostly, knowing you left much much more. The way you gave of yourself, so unselfishly, not only to me but to so many others, both on the internet and in your real life was something that is so rare. I have taken the best parts of you and tried hard to incorporate them into who and what I am and what I believe in. So.... on this the second anniversary of your passing my dear friend... I wish you love and peace!

12/27/98

Christmas has come and gone Wendy. The New Year is fast upon us and I feel the need to talk to you my friend. I don't know why I am so surprised at the absurdity I see in real life and here on IRC. You are not missing much friend! You know I have been hanging out on another net and channel and have met some interesting folks. Well let me tell you... little has changed. I don't know why I still let it get to me. You were the one person on this medium or in real life who was able to know the real me. No one else has even come close! Some have tried but in the end they all fall short. I keep telling myself that you had to leave but I miss you so much and our talks... It's times like this that I wish so much that you were here and we could just sit and yak away. Please remember that I will never ever forget you or the times we shared while you were alive... I love you .... Happy New Year Wendy... love to the angels... Felicia

The journey continues and I see before me the angel who guides me. She is beautiful, she smiles at me and I no longer walk alone!