Tuesday...5-4-98 (I hate Tuesday)

Its cold again.  My nights are so cold now. Empty. Broken.  My fingernails are too long. "Don't bite your nails, Leigh"  Its Doug. So special. My best friend. I smile at him, and he rolls his eyes.  He's digging through my closet for his green shirt. But, CANT HE SEE I'M WEARING IT!!

then...the other level...the lucid, walking waking dream....Matt.....can't stop grinning, can't stop whimpering while I grin.....what kind of man would let me get away with THAT....(laughing as I write) and then.......flashing into the deep dream again. Cold, cold...water....cold water and where did Jessy get that ugly hat?

Trying to remember WHY I can't say goodnight to David. Ohh, because he's.....because he's........good night, David!