Gryphons In Winter
He shivers under his coat, pulling himself tighter into the corner of the call box. Phone in his hand, he takes a deep breath and asks for her.
Five seconds of sheer torment make him tremble before he hears her voice, and he cant think..can't say anything that means something, so he says the first words on his mind. "I love you." He says them into the silence that is her stunned reaction to his call. He whispers those three words and waits for her to respond. She does what he expects of her, this time and every time. "I love you, too." And, his heart drops from the knot in his throat to settle into place again.
She breathes the sigh that always makes him tremble. He laughs aloud as his mind races with words and promises he'll never say aloud. Too many miles and too many memories stand like a wall between them, and the fear of what may happen soon leaves important words unsaid. They talk of silly things, each playing on the other's sense of humor...each racing to fill the silence that could grow beyond their control if they stopped to think about what is happing to them....again.
She touches him, silently....testing the edges of his mind for a moment. He knows she's there, and he tells her all the things she'll never get to hear aloud. "I need you." "You complete me." "I'm trusting you to love me for the rest of my life" "Don't break my heart, please" "Don't run away now." There are no words in the conversation they share in that infinate moment. She simply feels him, and he simply LETS her. And, in those few fractions of a second, they say more than they'll ever say across the static of the telephone lines. No interference, no boundries of civility or conversational courtesy to stand in their way.
Cold and frustrated at the depth of the darkness between their souls, he says goodbye the only way he knows how...quickly, without actually waiting for her to respond. Tearing himself from intimacy of the moment, he steps into a cold wind and an aching knowledge that there was more to be said than he had words to explain. His shiver, this time, is not from chill but from emptiness. It's the shiver that shakes away the lingering emotions.
Gryphon In Winter...Hard because he has to be. Cold and quick to nip things in the bud. Barren for the moment, but hiding expectations for a springtime that he prays will quickly come.